


Sweet Revenge

by carolelained



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-25
Updated: 2014-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-18 18:01:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2357144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolelained/pseuds/carolelained
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes revenge can be a good thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweet Revenge

**Author's Note:**

> No idea if anyone reads X files anymore.

Sweet Revenge   
By CarolelaineD

I was pissed off big time, I'd just lost the X files and Scully had gone back to Quantico. Shit could my life become any worse than it already was, punishment I had been told would be severe.

Yeah right more like hell as I sat transcribing bloody tapes. I suddenly realized someone was talking to me, I looked up to see a young junior agent with his hand held out. 

God the kid was good looking, however I thought to myself best not go down that line as things could get out of hand and fast.   
Well he could talk a lot and I guess I should be paying attention to what he's saying, shit I can't even remember what he said his name was, I've got it now Alex Krycek that was it. 

I realized he was talking about the case I had wanted, however I was not allowed as I was being punished, yet they gave it to some green agent. 

"Agent Mulder?" 

"Yeah." 

“It’s your 302. Assistant Director Skinner just approved it." 

"There’s a mistake here. There’s been another agent assigned to the case." 

"That would be me. Krycek, Alex Krycek." 

“Skinner didn’t say anything about taking on a new partner." 

"It wasn’t Skinner. Actually, I opened the file two hours before your request so technically, it’s my case." 

"And you already talked to the police?" 

"Yeah, I just hung up on the officer in charge a few minutes ago. A detective named Horton. Turns out Grissom called 911 to report a fire." 

“I heard the tape." 

"Did you hear that forensics found a spent fire extinguisher on the floor? Grissom’s prints were all over it. The walls and floor in his living room were covered with ammonium phosphate." 

"But no trace of a fire." 

"Not even a burnt match?" 

"That all you know?" 

"So far. What do you think it means?" 

"Listen, I appreciate the show and tell, and I don’t want you to take this personally, but I work alone. I’ll straighten things out with Skinner." 

"It’s my case, Agent Mulder. Look, I may be green, but I had the case first and I’m not going to give it away so quickly. " 

Fuck, he wants to be my partner, great how nice. 

"I'll finish up here while you go and requisition us a car" 

Fuck this I am so out of here, like hell am I working with some junior green agent. 

It's not him personally and he's better off without me, I have a tendency to work better alone anyway. 

XXXXXXXXXX 

Great I'd been told that Spooky Mulder was one arrogant prick and had an attitude, however so far things had not gone too bad. 

He wouldn't shake my hand when we first met but he was willing to work with me, well that's what I had thought at the time anyway. 

I had been a good agent and got the car he'd asked for, like an idiot I had waited and waited before returning to the bullpen, that was when I realized that I was a bigger idiot than I'd thought. 

I went back to the car and sped off as I knew where he was going, sitting in a car just waiting is boring and pisses me off just waiting and waiting. I have paid Mulders cab fare and sent it on its way, now he will need a lift back to the bureau and will have to put up with me. 

Finally Mulder swans out of the clinic looking around, it takes him a while to notice me and that the cab has gone. 

"I paid off your cab. Hey, I don’t appreciate being ditched like someone’s bad date" 

"I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings." 

"Where do you get off copping this attitude? You don’t even know the first thing about me." 

"Exactly." 

"You know, back at the academy, some of the guys used to make fun of you." 

"Oh stop it, or you’ll hurt my feelings." 

"But there were some of us who followed your work. Believed what you were doing because we knew that there was more out there than they were telling us." 

Mulder’s cell phone rings cutting off our conversation, I realize it's Scully on the other end of the line and that we are going to see her. 

I make a point of letting Mulder know I won't be pushed around, I am a full grown adult and capable of driving the bloody car. 

Okay it's now official, Spooky Mulder may be intelligent and top of his class also good looking, however he's also one arrogant fucking bastard. 

XXXXXXXXXX

God I can't believe they really expect me to work with this immature prick, I also could not believe that Krycek had followed me to the clinic. I decided that I needed to speak to Skinner very soon before something happened, as I would either end up fucking the young rookie or worse killing him. 

I had to go and see the body of Grissom that Scully was doing an autopsy on, at least I got to see her again and know she was okay. It was also worth it to see the look on Agent Krycek's face, I guessed the young Agent had not attended many autopsies before. 

The case was dragging on a bit and was starting to piss me off, we were now in search of a man named Augustus Cole but it helped that Krycek was far more open than Scully had ever been. 

However it was at the train station that I started to question his ability as an agent, I'd asked the man to call an ambulance for Girardi yet he seemed a nervous wreck and unable to respond when I needed him to. 

I don’t want to be funny but hell I want someone watching my back who's capable, someone who will be there for me when needed and at present Krycek did not fit the bill. 

After this case I plan to ditch Krycek as I work better on my own anyway, and as for trust, well let's just say I trust no one.

 I was soon to realize that Augustus Cole was extremely good at what he did, he played mind games and tricked you into seeing what he wanted you to see. 

He now stood in front of me holding out a bible and wanting to die, however this was not right and I felt very nervous around this man. 

XXXXXXXXXX

Shit, I had wanted to do really well today, I wanted to impress Agent Mulder and get him to accept me as his new partner who believes in his work and will help him. 

Yeah right, I had acted like a big baby and a wimp at that autopsy in front of him and Scully, Mulder must think I am truly pathetic and not worthy of being his partner. 

However at the train station things had changed, at first Mulder seemed to want my opinion on things and listened to what I had to say, we had discussed possibilities and Mulder paid attention, so maybe things might work out after all. 

Then I had to act like an idiot again, Mulder was yelling at me to hurry up and get an ambulance as the man's bleeding heavily, and what do I go and do? Freeze that's what. 

Mulder never bothers waiting for me and rushes off alone, I then saw him stood there facing Augustus Cole who had his arm stretched out, shit in his hand, he had a gun pointing at Agent Mulder.

I realized that I can't just stand here and watch my partner die, I raise my hand up and point the gun at Cole ready to shoot him, somewhere in the distance I can hear Mulder yelling at me not to shoot. 

I knew what I saw and was left with no choice other than pulling the trigger, I shot Cole dead and saved my partner as I was meant to do.   
Mulder rushed over to the body and looked rather pissed off to find him dead, I kept telling myself that I had no choice and did the right thing. 

XXXXXXXXXX

Things just go from bad to worse with Agent Krycek, I had told the man that he was not to shoot Cole as I would have handled it on my own. He could have shot the man in the arm or leg and not killed him. 

I realized that I was losing patience with this young rookie as he had been on edge all day, I would be putting that all down in my report to A.D Skinner. In my opinion Agent Krycek was too nervous and edgy to be out in the field and should not be carrying a gun, hell maybe he should not even be carrying a badge. 

The drive back to F.B.I headquarters was in silence, I took one look at Krycek and could see that he was falling apart and not dealing with the shooting too well. 

Well I was only meant to watch the rookie's back and not offer counselling, Krycek could see the F.B.I shrink as he would have to anyway after a shooting. 

We arrived back at the station a while later, that was the only time Krycek managed to speak to me. 

"I'm off to the gym for an hour, shit I just need to work off some of this tension" 

"Fine I guess I will go see Skinner on my own then" 

Skinner appeared not to be remotely understanding, he told me that as a qualified Agent I should have no problem dealing with a rookie. Okay then

that was fine if that's what Skinner wanted I would go deal with Alex Krycek. 

XXXXXXXX

I couldn’t believe I had just killed a man, apparently an unarmed man at that. I had just taken a human life just like that, I had wiped it out forever. 

I had no idea what was going through Mulder's head as the man had hardly spoke to me, I had spent an hour in the gym doing boxing and weights to take my mind of things and soon after I had finished I began feeling exhausted.

 I started to feel a bit better within myself, I had a right to shoot the man as that was no bible I saw in his hand but a gun and it was pointed at my partner. 

God, I was so tired of today and decided to have a good long shower, then I would drive home and get some well-earned sleep. It felt so soothing under the hot spray and I just wanted to stay there forever, fuck everyone as I believed what I had done was right. 

It was then that I heard the voice as I was spun around, then I felt the arm across my throat choking me. 

"You stupid fuckin prick Alex, you’re a stupid pathetic reckless Agent who doesn't listen." 

"Mulder get the fuck off me, shit I can't fuckin breathe" 

"Admit it then Alex, if Cole had a gun he could have shot you and you disobeyed my order not to shoot." 

"Fuck you Mulder, I did what I had to do you fuckin arrogant bastard and thought I was saving you, hell remind me next time just to let you fuckin die" 

I swear that I was going to pass out soon if Mulder kept pressing on my throat. 

  
XXXXXX

The cocky little bastard really believes in himself and that he was doing right saving me, I can't help applying a bit more pressure as he moans and groans, I realize just what a turn on the Agent is.

I also realize that this is not the time or place to be having thoughts like this.  I could just let him go and walk out of here, however I realize that would be far too easy. 

"I won't let go Alex until you admit your mistakes, fuck this I don't see why I should have to deal with some green rookie." 

"I swear get the fuck off me now Mulder" 

"Or what Alex, go on what will you do?" 

"I'll report you to Skinner for harassment" 

"You little fuckin grass, maybe I will report you for been reckless and a waste of fucking space" 

"Yeah whatever Mulder, you know it won't go down well in your position, senior agent assaults rookie in F.B.I showers"

"Ha so green and innocent Alex, who the fuck do you think would believe you?"

I could not help myself as I raised my fist to hit the smug little bastard. 

  
XXXXXXXXX

Fuck my breath was taken away, I would have collapsed if Mulder's arm was not still against my throat. I could not believe the bastard had punched me in the stomach and God I felt so sick, maybe I should just throw up all over the bastard. 

"Not so tough now are you Alex" 

"Get the fuck off me or I will shout for help so everyone can see just what you're really like, then I would get to watch as you lose your job" 

"You don't have the balls Alex to let anyone see you like this" 

Fuck the bastard grabbed my balls and squeezed hard, shit I knew I would soon pass out from the pain. I slowly slid down the cold tiled wall as Mulder removed the arm that held me up, I just wanted the floor to open up and swallow me and even more so when I realized my cock was turning hard. 

Worse was to come, I knew by the look on Mulders face that he had also noticed and suddenly I wished I was dead. 

"Oh Alex you're so fuckin sick it’s unbelievable" 

"Please Fox don't do this to me" 

Fuck the sudden kick to my ribs really bloody hurt, I guess he never liked me calling him Fox then. 

XXXXXXXX

I could not believe the sad little prick was getting turned on by all this, or that he had the nerve to call me by my first name. Who knows maybe Alex Krycek was in to pain and it’s what got him off. 

I pulled him up so that he was standing and drag him over to the mirror, he refuses to look at first but I soon change his mind. 

"Just look at yourself Alex getting all hard, you're nothing but a fuckin pretty boy are you." 

Alex refused to answer me, I grabbed his hard cock jerking him off with my hand. 

"Do you want to come Alex, do I turn you on." 

"Fuck you Mulder you can't do this it's sexual harassment" 

Suddenly I am shoved backwards as Alex flees in to the nearest cubicle, I hear the lock engage on the door and know he won't come out any time soon. 

Okay fun's over now and I guess maybe I went too far this time, I will just apologize to him when I see him later on. 

"Hey Alex I'll see you back in the basement before you leave." 

Fine no answer came from within the closed door, I guess I will see him soon then. 

I filled in the report that I was meant to have done and realized the time, it was late and Alex must have just gone straight home. I wondered if he had called to see Skinner before he had left, I also wondered if he had filed a complaint against me.   
Soon I decided it was also time that I too called it a day. 

XXXXXXXX

I couldn’t believe that Mulder had done that to me, even worse I could not believe that my treacherous body had responded to him. 

Fuck yeah I had to admit that the man was gorgeous, but hell he has some serious issues if he goes around treating people like that. 

I start wondering if he is like that with all men and new rookies, or was I just singled out for his amusement. 

Well I was not amused myself as my body ached and was starting to bruise, hell my throat and ribs were the worst and I struggled to swallow a glass of water. 

I struggled to walk but finally made it to the changing room, fuck Mulder as I was leaving early and going straight home for some sleep and strong meds. 

Morning would be soon enough to face him, who knows maybe I won’t feel so intimidated if I’m fully clothed and he won’t be able to push me around as much, if at all if I have my way.

I make it home and take some pills as I just want the pain to go away, I lay on the bed not caring any more about anything however it's a restless sleep and morning soon comes around. 

I wake and realize that I'd fallen asleep fully dressed, I decide to get a good shower and clean clothes maybe it will make me feel more human again.   
As I undress I notice all the bruises, fuck my neck and side has the most on and they stand out a hell of a lot. 

I shower and dress then do the best I can to hide the bruises on my throat, I have to hope that no one looks to close or I will have a lot of explaining to do. 

I take a long good look at myself in the mirror and wonder who the fuck I am really, shit that thought really scares me more than Mulder did.   
Well I realize it's time to go to work, and for today at least I’m Special Agent Alex Krycek of the F.B.I.

  
XXXXXXXX

I arrive at the basement to find myself alone, I wonder if Alex will be in today or if I pushed him too far, hell maybe he even quit, I guess that I will just have to wait and see if he has the balls to show up. 

Hey never mind the balls, I do know that he has one hell of a cock on him, smooth and hard, fuck what the hell am I doing thinking about this right now. 

Work that's what I should be thinking about really and what I’m meant to be doing, it's just then that the door opens to reveal Alex looking as gorgeous as ever. 

I notice that he walks slow and struggles to sit down, also he avoids all eye contact with me, well I guess I will have to be the man and talk first, it's either that or silence all day. 

"Alex are you okay?" 

"What the fuck do you care, tell you what Mulder don't even talk to me today" 

"I'm so sorry Alex and admit I went too far" 

"Do you get off on treating all new rookies that way Mulder?" 

"No just you" 

"Gee thanks’ now I feel so fuckin special." 

"Look you could have got yourself killed" 

Great looks like I still need to teach Alex a lesson, obviously he still hasn’t learnt what rules are there for. 

XXXXXXXXXX 

Great Mulder was really trying to wind me up now. 

"You're so full of crap Mulder, and what the hell gives you the right to boss me around anyway? 

I just wished that for one day Mulder would just shut up and leave me the hell alone.

"I'm your senior Agent Krycek that's why I can, I'm meant to watch out for you and make sure you come to no harm." 

"Shit you call sexual harassment and violence looking out for me, well next time don't fuckin bother Mulder as I will look out for myself thanks’" 

"Okay Alex calm down a bit, I told you I was sorry" 

"Yeah well you will be sorry Mulder"

"Is that a threat Alex?" 

"Take it whatever way you want Mulder, for fucks sake you nearly strangled me as well as humiliating and beating me." 

I yanked my tie off and undid my shirt revealing the bruises. 

"Take a good look as you did this to me Mulder, bruises left by your fuckin hands as you tried to choke me." 

I would swear that Mulder was getting turned on as he watched me, fuck his eyes bore into me and he was getting off without even touching me. I swear one day I will get my own back on Mulder and take great pleasure doing so. 

XXXXXXXXXX 

Great I could not believe that Alex was unbuttoning his shirt in front of me, all I could see was the image of Alex stood naked in the showers.   
However my daydreaming ended very abruptly when a loud voice boomed out behind me, I had not expected to see Skinner and hoped he'd not overheard anything. 

"Agent Mulder in my office now" 

"Yes Sir" 

"Agent Krycek" 

"Yes Sir." 

"When Agent Mulder returns I want you in my office, is that understood?"   
"Yes Sir." 

"Oh and Agent Krycek." 

"Sir." 

“Get your shirt fastened up and put your tie on, I don't know where you think you are but you’re an F.B.I Agent now." 

"Yes Sir, sorry Sir it won't happen again." 

I walked out of the basement and followed Skinner to his office, the man sounded really pissed off with me and Krycek. 

Well I had no idea what was up but I still had my phone and gun, also I had not even run any huge expenses up so I would have to wait and see as we entered his office. 

"Sit Agent Mulder" 

"Yes Sir." 

"Some disturbing news has come to my attention, apparently you Agent Mulder was seen by a fellow Agent attacking a rookie in the showers, said rookie is Agent Krycek your partner. You Agent Mulder are meant to be there for him and watch out for him, I want to know if there’s any truth to the allegations Agent Mulder." 

"No Sir there is no truth in the allegations at all." 

"Are you sure Agent Mulder, because so help me God it will be far worse for you if you’re lying?" 

"I'm not lying Sir, I swear that I never touched Agent Krycek." 

"Fine Agent Mulder you're dismissed for now, please send Agent Krycek to my office." 

"Yes Sir." 

With that I left Skinners office and wondered who the grass was, I also knew that if Alex opened his mouth I was finished as an F.B.I Agent and my career would be over. 

I opened my office door, Alex gave nothing of his intentions away as he grabbed his jacket and left. 

XXXXXXXXXX 

I fastened my jacket and tried to look smart as I really found Skinner intimidating, I knocked on his office door and soon heard the loud voice once again.

“Come in Agent Krycek, please take a seat." 

"Yes Sir." 

"How are you doing Agent Krycek and how are you getting on with your partner, Mulder can be a very hard man to work with as he drives his partners away." 

"Okay I guess Sir" 

"Has Agent Mulder tried to drive you away from him at all, he finds it hard coping if people get too close to him." 

"No we have been fine working together Sir." 

"So a certain incident in the men’s showers never happened then, as I have it on good authority that you were abused by Mulder in the shower, well Agent Krycek would you like to explain it to me." 

"I'm sorry Sir I can't as I have no idea what you're talking about." 

"Fine have it your own way Agent Krycek, however I have just one question."

"Fine I will answer if I can Sir." 

“I would like to know how you got that bruise." 

"What bruise Sir?" 

"Don't dare try my patience Agent Krycek as I'm not some rookie, the bruise around your throat where did it come from?” 

"It was a personal family matter Sir." 

"Despite what you think of me I am here to help Agent Krycek." 

"That's good to know and thank you Sir"

 "God I really do waste my time, you may go Agent Krycek as that's all for now." 

God how I just wanted to be away from Skinner and out of this office, I was a crap liar at the best of times without the likes of Skinner. 

"Oh and Agent Krycek make sure you tell Agent Mulder that I will be keeping my eye on him," 

"Yes Sir no problem." 

I was so pleased when I finally got out of his office, the man was not stupid and knew I was lying about everything including Mulder.   
Great now back to Mulder and his many questions, sod them all as far as I'm concerned Mulder can bloody wait. 

I decide to go to the cafeteria for a coffee and not a take away one, it was well over an hour later when I returned back to the office I shared with Mulder. 

XXXXXXXXXX 

Where the hell was Krycek as he couldn't still be with Skinner, finally the office door opened and he walked in and sat down like I was invisible to him? 

"Where the hell have you been Alex?" 

"Covering your back Mulder so don't you dare lecture me." 

"Works two ways Alex, hell I was also forced to lie about you." 

"Be honest Mulder as you know I would have just got a warning, whereas for you Mulder...., well lets Just say you would not be here anymore." 

"Gee thanks for that Alex" 

"Look Mulder we have to work together and we’re both grown adults, can't we just make a truce and move on." 

"Yeah fine as it won't be for long anyway" 

"What's that supposed to mean, shit Mulder do you really despise me that much" 

“I don't despise you Alex far from it." 

"Yeah right you could have fooled me." 

"Look come on, we have called a truce and need to do some work." 

I could not believe how close I’d come to slipping up, hell I don't despise the man as how could I when he's so hot and sexy, maybe a new wardrobe and a better suit would help but I think naked would be a far better look on him. 

I really need to start thinking with my head and not my dick, as guaranteed it will only end up with trouble. 

"So are we good then Mulder." 

Shit I had been miles away fantasizing over his body, and my cock deep within his tight ass. 

"Sorry yeah Alex we're good, and I’m truly sorry about my behaviour yesterday, I was just afraid you were going to die." 

"It works two ways, I really believed that Cole had a gun and was about to shoot you and I do like you despite what you think." 

"I thought you would hate me after what I did to you Alex, I hope we can move on and try again." 

"Yeah me too, come on let’s get some work done." 

I could not believe that Alex still wanted to even talk to me after what I’d done, however here he was willing to give us another chance. 

It felt stuffy in the basement and I needed to get out for a while, when I was due a break I informed Alex I was off for a swim and some time out to sort my head out, truth been I just wanted some alone time.

XXXXXXXXXX 

I knew that I was starting to become far too close to Mulder, keep your distance and your eyes open as I would need to keep him in my sights at all times.   
The thing was I had no problem at all about watching him, I guess I was never meant to really like him. 

  
Great and now I have Skinner on the lookout for Mulder, well maybe this assignment might go better than the last one. 

"Agent Krycek where’s Agent Mulder?" 

"He told me that he was off to the pool for an hour Sir." 

"Go and get him, then tell him to report to me as he's needed in a hostage situation." 

"Yes Sir." 

Fuck I had no problem finding Mulder just his clothes, he must be wearing the smallest pair of Speedo's ever to be made and God I could not help looking. 

The man is unbelievably hung and leaves nothing to the imagination and I was glad of my baggy suit, I hardly even remember telling Mulder to report to Skinner. However as always things would soon change and my moment of pleasure gone. 

I learned the hard way that Mulder was the golden boy around here, where I was just the fuckin coffee boy and expected to run errands for them all. 

Soon Mulder got in to the alien shit with Duane Barry and believed everything the man told him, he even wanted to go and talk to him face to face, what's worse was them letting Mulder do it. 

He offers himself up as a hostage to get close to Barry, then Scully arrives with some vital news regarding Duane Barry. The man is not only ex F.B.I he is also a fuckin lunatic and Scully claimed that Mulder was in real danger. 

Suddenly I feel violently sick and can't cope with the emotions that race through me, why the hell am I so paranoid about Mulder and what happens to him? 

He's a psychotic immature bastard with a death wish so why am I so worried about him, he will also take anyone with him that stands in his way of the truth. So why do I care then, because I love the man despite his faults that’s why. 

Fuck where the hell did that come from as it had just popped in to my head, the big question was whether it was true or not and not just a crush. Suddenly it hit me like a bolt of lightning, yes I Alex Krycek am in love with Fox Mulder. 

Great and Mulder had beat me for having a death wish, well if he survives this he will need to change his reckless ways as it will no longer just be him. 

Fox Mulder is unbelievable, they finally take down Duane Barry and he's pissed because he never got to spend longer with the man. I am also starting to despise Scully as she is always wherever Mulder is, it's like a fly to shit and he always puts her first. 

One back at headquarters Mulder went for a shower, guess he wanted to change out of the paramedic’s uniform. Well he taught me a lesson while I was in the shower so it must be my turn, and I guarantee the stubborn bastard will learn. 

XXXXXXXXXX 

I felt so pissed off with life and cheated at the moment, I know Barry was for real despite what Scully and everyone else has to say and she's meant to be my friend. 

Barry was psychotic but hell the man knew way too much to be making it up, I just feel so alone in my beliefs as no one believes me, or in me anyway.   
Shit they all wonder why Spooky Mulder trusts no one, maybe because they have done nothing to earn my trust. 

God the shower feels so good and relaxing against my weary body, great I hear some footsteps and know I am no longer alone so much for the peace.   
I open my eyes and see Alex stood there staring at me, however he looks pissed big time as if he wants to kill me. 

"What's up Alex?" 

“I can't believe you have the nerve to ask me that, where do you get off pretending you don't know." 

"Hell let me see, maybe it's because I'm not a fuckin mind reader Alex." 

“You bastard" 

Fuck before I even knew what was happening Alex had me by the throat, he then just shoved me hard to the floor. 

"What's your fuckin problem? Just get the hell off me Alex." 

"You beat me and attack me sexually because I was reckless, you went in there with that crazy fuckin bastard so you tell me Mulder who's the reckless one." 

"Shit Alex I was doing my job and just wanted to talk to him." 

"You don't give a fuck do you Mulder and that's why you don't want anyone to get close, have you ever thought that maybe some people do care." 

"I knew what I was doing Alex." 

"Like fuck you did." 

I try to get rid of Alex however I close my eyes as he raises his clenched fist, I wait for the punch but it never came and all I heard was a loud booming voice. 

"Just what the fuck are you two doing, you are both F.B.I agents and not kids in a playground." 

I watch as Skinner grabs Alex and pulls him off me, then I realize that he asked us both a question. 

"Nothing's wrong Sir, everything's okay." 

"Like hell it is Mulder, Agent Krycek dry off and return to your office as I will deal with you shortly, and as for you Agent Mulder, you have ten minutes to be dressed and in my office." 

"Yes Sir." 

Great I realize that I'm now well and truly fucked thanks to Alex. 

XXXXXXXXXX 

Shit I could not believe that I was that close to hitting Mulder, at least Skinner had stopped me before it got that far. Great I know I will be either reprimanded or lose my job for this, shit that cancerous bastard will kill me for fucking up my assignment. 

I am officially fucked with no way out, I just sit in the office and wait for Skinner to come and give me the news, and it never took long so he must have dealt with Mulder fast. 

"On your feet now Agent Krycek." 

"Yes Sir." 

I got up and stood there waiting, that was when I noticed Skinner lock the door. 

"I told you to get changed Agent Krycek as you're dripping water all over the place, may I suggest next time remove your clothes before entering the shower." 

"Sorry Sir, yes Sir." 

"Go on then get changed." 

"What now Sir?" 

"Yes now Agent Krycek unless you have a problem with my orders, I am sure you must have a change of clothing here with you?" 

"Just my gym clothes Sir." 

"That's fine as you will be going home soon anyway." 

Great he said that I'll be off home soon so maybe he plans to fire me after all, I found it hard undressing in the same room as Skinner especially as I now stood in my boxers, and I had no intention of removing them. 

I was starting to panic, fuck I could see the way Skinner was watching me and how his eyes followed me.   
I grabbed my gym clothes but never even got the time to put them on, I was suddenly shoved forwards over Mulders desk, fuck no I could feel the cool air on my ass as my boxers were yanked down. 

"Please Sir just let me get dressed." 

"All in good time Krycek, however first I want to hear you scream for me as your nothing but a cock tease." 

Fuck fuck fuck, Skinner was enormous and I screamed like a baby as he entered me dry, he kicked my feet wider apart so he could shove his large cock as far as it would go. I knew I would not be able to sit comfortably anytime soon. 

I tried to will the tears not to fall, however they dropped one by one on to Mulders desk below. Skinner never gave a shit about me at all as it was all about his needs, as soon as he came within me he got dressed again, it was only as he was leaving that he turned to speak to me. 

"If you want to keep your job you would be wise to keep your mouth shut boy."

 With that he turned and was gone, I was left a complete mess no longer the hard man that had just challenged Mulder and I knew I would have even more bruises now too. 

Well I can guarantee that one way or another A.D. Skinner will pay and regret what he has done. 

XXXXXXXXXX 

Talk about pissing me around, I had dressed and had waited over forty minutes before Skinner decided to show up, and what could he say anyway as Krycek assaulted me? 

"Sorry Agent Mulder for keeping you waiting, I had to just see an Agent that needed some help." 

"That's fine Sir." 

"Things seem to be strained between yourself and Agent Krycek, let me just point out that you’re both now  on your final warning so play nicely. Any more trouble and you both will be dismissed until further notice." 

"Yes Sir." 

"Do I make myself clear Agent Mulder?" 

"Crystal clear Sir." 

"Good back to work then Agent Mulder." 

I took a slow trip to the basement, I was not looking forward to facing Alex again or his temper yet I found a far different Alex to the one earlier. He appeared so quiet and withdrawn and would not even look at me, I was starting to get worried now for different reasons. 

"Are you okay Alex?"

"Yeah fine just leave me alone Mulder I'm not in the mood." 

"I swear I'm truly sorry if you thought I'd been reckless, Duane Barry appeared to be the real thing as what he knew was not possible unless it happened to him." 

"Hell I know Mulder, I just don't want to talk about any of it right now." 

"They found implants in his nasal passage and his teeth had been drilled, your still not listening are you Alex...”   
"No for fucks sake Mulder just shut the hell up, I just need some time and space to myself." 

"Fuck you Alex, and later don't say I never tried to work things out." 

Working together was going to be difficult when I had no idea what was up with him, God the man sulked far worse than me and that's saying something.   
I had no idea why Alex would not talk to me and at least try to sort things out, I tried my hardest to just get on with my work but it was proving hard as Alex wouldn't even look at me. 

After an hour I decided that enough was enough and I would have to make the first move. 

"Alex please talk to me, are you sure you're really okay?" 

"Fuck you Mulder and fuck everyone else as I really don't need this shit, I’m going home and I don't give a fuck whether Skinner likes it or not." 

XXXXXXXXXX 

I had to get out of that confined office before I went mad, shit I just wanted to go home and be alone to sort myself out as I could no longer face anyone here. I could not believe that Skinner expected me to keep my mouth shut and carry on as if nothing even happened. 

Within an hour I was finally back home, well what a fuckin joke that was as I had no real home anymore just a shity apartment with hardly any furniture. There was no point having anything nice anyway as I would be moving on soon and Spender liked to keep me on the move. 

I hated this fuckin life as Spender always had to know where I was or what I was doing, God he was always there checking up on me.   
I decided to go for a long hot shower so I could scrub myself clean, yet over an hour later I had scrubbed myself until my skin became so sore at the slightest touch and I still felt dirty. 

I suppose the truth is I am dirty and everyone’s little fuckin whore, well not any more as I've had enough of everyone just using me. I dried myself off and grabbed some boxers as I had no intention of going out. 

Once in the kitchen I grabbed the unopened bottle of vodka as I would deal with my problems one way or another, however once I walked into the living room I stopped dead, fuck there was no way on earth I could be doing with Spender tonight. 

"Does no one know how to fuckin knock anymore" 

"Alex dear boy you need to learn to watch that smart mouth of yours, I own this apartment and I own you and you would do well to remember that." 

"How the fuck could I ever forget." 

Fuck I had not expected the back hander I received, then I felt the taste of blood on my lips as the bastard just stood there grinning. 

"I have only just told you to watch your mouth then you be clever, I have told you on many occasions that your mouth only has one use in life" 

"Fine I'm sorry and it won't happen again." 

"Too late Alex actions speak louder than words, and let’s just say I want a proper apology from you." 

Great I knew what was expected of me as Spender shoved me down on to my knees, he wasted no time unfastening his pants and shoving his cock deep into my throat. He was a bastard and really rough despite my split lip, I started to gag but he just carried on shoving it deeper and deeper. 

"Take it all good boy, see I told you there was a use for your mouth."

I knew come morning my mouth would be bruised from all the force, God how I hated this man far more than anyone else. 

"God yes take it all Alex, swallow it and that's an order boy." 

Like I had a fuckin choice in the matter, all I wanted was for it to be over before I threw up. Afterwards he just fastened his pants and walked to the door and then turned. 

"Next time make sure you show me some respect boy as believe me I can make life far worse for you." 

With that said Spender walked out slamming the door behind him, I just sat there feeling totally lost and I could not stop the tears that fell. After a while I grabbed the vodka along with my F.B.I badge and gun, I had worked hard for my badge and it had been a long road until one day Spender came along. 

I had been an idiot believing all his lies and blown the one chance at the career I had so much wanted, even when I no longer have my career I will still have Spender breathing down my neck. 

I started knocking back the vodka, I needed to get rid of the taste and forget Spender for a while if that was at all possible. 

I opened the chamber on my gun and removed five of the six bullets before re closing it, it was now time to play roulette Russian style. I placed the gun against my temple and it felt so cold and heavy in my hand, I removed the safety catch and pulled the trigger without even stalling only to hear it click on an empty chamber. 

Fuck only five more to go, I decided to drink some more of the vodka as I was in no hurry and it might get rid of the pounding in my head. After a few minutes I realized the pounding was my door and not in my head, well whoever it was could fuck off as I was not in the mood. 

"Fuck off I'm not in." 

"Alex it's me Mulder open the door come on please." 

XXXXXXXXXX 

I knew something was seriously wrong with Alex, however is was hard to find out what when the stubborn bastard refused to open the door.   
I had found his address in his file and had come straight here from work, I was tired and pissed off as it had already been a long day. 

"Alex open this bloody door or you will regret it." 

"Fuck off Mulder and leave me alone." 

"I only want to talk Alex then I will leave." 

"I have nothing to say to you apart from fuck off, surely even you Mulder can understand that."   
Great suddenly all I could hear was loud music so I guess that was his way of ignoring me, I pull out my F.B.I issue picklock knowing the music will drown out the noise from my actions. 

The lock was some really old cheap thing and I had it open within seconds, I entered into a living room and in front of me was a big padded chair. I knew that Alex occupied the chair as I could see his long legs on the coffee table. 

He sat there with a bottle of vodka in his hand, or should I say a nearly empty bottle of vodka, I just stood behind him watching however as I moved closer I noticed the gun against his head, my heart nearly stopped as he pulled the trigger. 

"Alex what the fuck are you doing?" 

"Hey Mulder you might as well join the party since you let yourself in." 

"Fine just put the gun down Alex."

"Mulder just sit down and shut the fuck up, hell it's not like I am planning to kill you." 

"There's no way I am just going to sit here while you blow your brains out." 

"Well fuck off and go, I don't need you or anyone else, hell it's not even like I invited you in." 

I knew I would have to think fast and do something before things became worse. 

"Okay fine Alex I will sit down if that's what you want."

XXXXXXXXXX 

Great that was all I needed, the company of Fox Mulder. 

"Why did you come here Mulder?" 

"I came to see if you're okay as you left work suddenly." 

"Let’s just say I am sick of it, sick of working with a bunch of raping bastards." 

"Is that how you see me Alex?" 

"Just forget it." 

"How can I just forger it Alex, for fucks sake I need to know." 

"You arrogant fuckin prick, everything’s always just about you Mulder." 

Before Mulder even had a chance to move I raised the gun to my temple, however he was soon on his feet when I pulled the trigger. 

"Sit the fuck back down Mulder." 

"You fuckin crazy bastard, please Alex just put the gun down and talk to me." 

"Three down and three to go." 

"Alex please I swear I never meant to hurt you." 

"So just what the fuck was you trying to do then?" 

"I was pissed off by your behaviour and never wanted to see you get hurt." 

"You never had to humiliate and hurt me to do it, I'm nothing to you so why do you care anyway."

 "Because I fell in love with you Alex, there you go I've said it and now all the cards are on the table and the truths out." 

I swear to God I was not expecting the declaration of love, fuck I could not cope with all this right now. 

"Don't you even go there Mulder, you’re a bull shitting lying bastard and I know what your game is."

"I swear I'm not playing a game Alex." 

"You think by telling me that crap I will just put the gun down, ha well think again Mulder." 

"Alex I love you, hell is it that hard to understand." 

"Fuck you." 

With that I jumped up and pulled the trigger once more, however everything suddenly went wrong after that as Mulder pounced on me and knocked me to the floor. 

XXXXXXXXXX 

Fuck Alex was wild and took some holding down, I had at least managed to kick the gun away from us both and that made me feel a bit better. 

I managed to pin him down using my weight as the vodka was making his movements slow, I had managed to reach in to my pocket and retrieve my cuffs as Alex glared at me and struggled even harder. 

"Don't you fuckin dare Mulder?" 

"Guess what Alex, I dare." 

The cuffs clicked shut restraining his hands however this made him get even more pissed off. 

"You're fuckin dead, I swear I will rip your head off Mulder."

 "Calm down Alex it's for your own good."

"You know nothing Mulder, just get the fuckin cuffs off me now." 

"You don't have a chance in hell, just shut the fuck up or I will be forced to gag you too." 

I managed to pull him up from the floor and shove him on to the chair. 

"Sit there and don't move." 

"Really Mulder, where the hell will I go when I'm cuffed and in my underwear." 

"Yeah well let's just say I don't plan on taking any chances with you." 

"Go fuck yourself Mulder." 

"Whatever, do you get off playing your little mind games?" 

"You can talk, shit Mulder you get off at the thought of little green men."

I bent down and retrieved the gun, four times he had pulled the trigger and I needed to know if it was all just a game yet when I looked in the chamber I changed my mind fast. There in the next chamber was the lone bullet, just one more shot and Alex would be dead now. 

I was really pissed off now and could not withhold the anger any longer, I grabbed hold of Alex by the throat and pulled him up. 

"You sick fuckin bastard, you really was going to kill yourself." 

XXXXXXXXXX 

Ha Mulder has a brain after all, however at the moment I really needed him off me. 

"The penny finally dropped Mulder, You should have just stayed away and it would all be over now." 

Fuck me and my big bloody mouth, I struggled to breathe as Mulder squeezed my throat even tighter and really thought I would die at his hands. 

"You just have to keep pushing Alex, well tough shit as I 'm not leaving you here alone now."

 "What part of Fuck off don't you understand Mulder." 

Fuck suddenly I was punched full on in the stomach and collapsed to my knees, I struggled to breathe as Mulder dragged me to the bedroom and shoved me on the bed. The bastard was fast and soon I was cuffed to the bed post, shit I had been too winded to fight back. 

"You've got to be fucking kidding me Mulder." 

"No far from it, you can stay there Alex until I decide what to do with you." 

"You can't do this just get the fucking cuffs off now, I swear you will pay for this." 

I received no answer as Mulder walked out of the room, I could not believe he was doing this to me and I was a prisoner on my own bed. Well I was always good at opening my mouth and at a time like this you use what you have. 

"Mulder you fuckin bastard get the fuck in here right now, I swear you're a dead man walking and you had better be listening to me, MULDER ......" 

The bedroom door was thrown open hard, shit there stood Mulder looking pissed off big time. 

"You really don't know when to shut up do you Alex?" 

I watched as Mulder opened a draw and removed a pair of my clean socks. 

“Where are your ties Alex?" 

Shit suddenly the penny dropped. 

"Fuck you Mulder as there's no way you're gagging me." 

Great Mulder looked deadly serious. 

XXXXXXXXXX 

I needed to silence Alex before the whole neighbourhood complained, I never found a tie just his F.B.I issue cuffs, and soon I had him spread eagled on the bed using both sets of cuffs. 

"You've had your fun just let me go Mulder." 

"What so you can shoot yourself?" 

As Alex was talking I shoved the sock in his mouth, I then decided to use my own tie to hold it in place. 

"You need to lay there quietly and think about things, I love you and as soon as you accept things we can deal with them." 

Alex tried to protest with no luck as it was hard when he had a sock in his pretty mouth, even though I could think of better uses for his mouth and something better to put in it. I decide to go make myself a coffee as now's not the time for thoughts like that, and I really need to do some thinking too. 

The profiler in me was screaming that Alex was unstable and suicidal, bottom line the man needed help and I didn't think I could do it alone however he would never forgive me if I had him committed. 

I would stay here tonight and see how things go, however I planned to leave at least one set of cuffs on all night. I knew that I'd been rough with him but I was just so scared of losing him for good. I had no idea when I even fell in love with him, yet when he had that gun pointed at his head I knew deep within me how I felt.

I had to wonder what sort of life he had to make him suicidal, even though there was no guarantees he’d talk.   
I decided to wait till morning when I had a clear head to think, I finished the coffee and welcomed the caffeine for the long night ahead. 

I went to the bathroom however I stopped half way there, I could hear a faint muffled noise from the bedroom and suddenly it hit me what a fuckin idiot I was. 

Fuck I had left a drunk man lying on his back, and for good measure I'd even gagged him, I rushed to the room as my head was filled with images of Alex choking on his own vomit. 

I removed the gag from his mouth and realized he'd not been sick, however Alex appeared to be having a really bad nightmare and I just stood transfixed listening to what he said. I also realized that he was crying in his sleep and begging for someone to stop, yet it was not my name he was shouting out. 

XXXXXXXXXX 

"Please Skinner don't do this, shit I swear I will do anything just not this, please Sir I am begging you..... God it hurts so much." 

I opened my eyes to find Mulder in the room, I also realized that he must have removed the gag as I could now talk again. 

"Why the fuck are you looking at me like that, shit Mulder you're starting to freak me out a bit now." 

"Is it true Alex?" 

"Is what true?" 

“Skinner, did he rape you Alex?" 

"What the fuck are you talking about?" 

"You were having a nightmare Alex." 

"Leave me alone Mulder and just forget it, it was a dream and nothing more."   
"It all fits in to place now, Skinner was running late and you were totally different when I returned to the basement."   
"It's nothing, shit you know nothing Mulder so just drop it, hell you don't even know anything about me."   
"I won't give up Alex so you might as well tell me the truth."   
Fuck I knew Mulder was like a God dam dog with a bone, he wouldn’t give up till he got what he wanted.   
"So what are you going to do Mulder beat me till I talk, well it won't work as I don't care or give a fuck   
anymore."   
"No Alex I just want to talk that's all."   
"Fuck Mulder you don't get it do you."   
"Well I know for one it has something to do with Skinner, then there's what I did to you."   
"You humiliated me Mulder, you made me feel pathetic and useless like I was dirt."   
"I don't think you're pathetic Alex or useless, I wanted you but couldn’t handle my feelings."   
"As for Skinner he was worse than you Mulder, you see Skinner didn’t need to make me feel pathetic and useless because that's how I was.”  
XXXXXXXXXX   
I felt so helpless as I watched Alex cry, I just wanted to hold him in my arms and show him I loved him.   
"I'm sure you were in control Alex, however Skinner is a strong man."   
"Oh yeah it sure as hell felt that way Mulder, shit I bet you don't know how it feels to be raped and you can't stop it. Pushed face down over your fuckin desk and unable to move, shit he hurt me so much and it still hurts."   
I could not believe what Alex was telling me, I would have never guessed that Skinner was capable of rape.   
"Shit I’m so sorry Alex, Jesus I never knew or even suspected Skinner."

"You see I can't face going back to work anymore, hell I don't want to face anyone anymore either as once Spender finds out I'm dead anyway"   
"Alex who's Spender?"   
"He's my boss, shit I'm not who you think I am Mulder I'm someone far worse."   
I suddenly felt very uneasy and knew something was not right, especially as Alex claimed he worked for someone else.   
"So just who the fuck are you then, come on Alex we might as well have all the cards on the table and everything in the open."   
"I'm a fuckin traitor spy assassin take your pick Mulder, trust no one that was your motto yet you soon managed to trust me, what a joke as I'm your worst fuckin nightmare and was sent to spy on you."   
"I don't believe you Alex."   
"Why Mulder? Because you fell in love with me, ha well I don't love you and if you want honesty I don't even like you, you're a self-centered arrogant stuck up fuckin prick."   
Fuck my head was spinning, if Alex was telling the truth the bastards had used me yet again, I had been such a fuckin idiot to trust Alex and yet here he was cuffed to a bed.   
I saw red and became totally out of control like a wild animal, however I no longer cared anymore and just wanted revenge. I punched Alex repeatedly and I felt good, I sat over him and just watched as the blood ran from his mouth and nose.   
I removed the cuffs while he was dazed and rolled him on to his stomach, in seconds I had him spread eagled and both of his arms re cuffed. I then undressed myself and went in to the bathroom in search of some lubricant, well all I managed to find was some hand cream so it would have to do and it was better   
than nothing I suppose.   
XXXXXXXXXX   
I lay there face down and held the tears back, maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut as my whole body ached, shit one of my eyes wouldn't even open. I had heard Mulder leave the room just to return shortly after and then I felt the cool air on my backside, fuck no the man had beat the crap out of me now planned to rape me.   
I felt the lubed fingers probe my ass, fuck it hurt so much from when Skinner raped me now this twice in one day and I was too weak to stop him.   
"Relax Alex and it won't hurt, well not too much anyway."   
"You fuckin bastard why don't you just finish it, come on Mulder just one bullet and you can even say it was self-defense."   
"That would be far too easy for the likes of you."   
I felt the tip of his large cock pressing against me. Fuck without any warning at all he just rammed it straight into my already sore backside that was when I no longer cared and I screamed and screamed.   
Soon my throat hurt so much I could no longer scream, yet Mulder just kept going pounding in to me over and over again.   
"Fuck yeah, God you're so tight Alex and what a turn on you are with all that screaming."   
I just lay there as I had no fight left in me anymore, Mulder had stamina and kept on going for ages until finally he came within me. Mulder just collapsed on top of me and I could hardly breathe not that I cared, as now I felt like dirt and useless.   
"Mulder get the fuck off me I can't breathe."   
"Sorry Alex."   
"Sorry for what, the fact that I can't breathe, or maybe the fact that you beat and raped me. Hey lucky me twice in one fuckin day I must have rape me wrote on my forehead...”  
"I'm sorry for everything, shit you never deserved what I've just done to you."   
"I deserved it all and more."

"Don't talk like that please Alex, I'll go get some warm water to clean you up." 

When Mulder returned he removed the cuffs, ha the bastard knew I had no strength left to fight him off. I sat there just rocking backwards and forwards, however as Mulder went to wipe my face I started to scream and scream even more. 

XXXXXXXXXX 

Jesus what the fuck had I just done, I had literally destroyed the man within a couple of hours.  
Alex had already suffered so much pain and humiliation at the hands of Skinner, what the fuck is wrong with me that I could do that to someone I loved.

I grabbed Alex as tight as I dare and held him to me, the tears were no longer under my control and I was falling apart, however I had to keep myself together for Alex.

Soon my actions paid off and Alex was fast asleep in my arms, I held him for a short while longer before moving off the bed, I knew the time had come to get him some help.

I phoned Scully and told her as little as possible, she also informed me that if I was that worried to call the hospital. I explained to them the situation and that I was an F.B.I Agent. 

The Hospital arranged to send an ambulance straight away, I also advised them to bring a sedative as it might be needed.  
I entered the bedroom to find Alex where I'd left him fast asleep, after washing his battered body I put him in some loose fitting clothes.

I lay there stroking his hair knowing this may be the last time he ever lets me this close, then I heard the knock and knew my time was up and it was time to move.

"Mulder please don't leave me alone."

"I'm just answering the door and won't be long, you go back to sleep Alex."

I went and opened the apartment door, however I was not prepared for the unwelcome visitor.

"Agent Mulder it's good to see you."

"What the hell do you want?"

"Alex of course, at the end of the day I am his boss."

"I often wondered what your name was, well I guess you must be Spender then.”

"Just get Alex Agent Mulder, some of as far too busy for idle chit chat."  
"Alex is ill and not up to having a visitor, especially a cancerous bastard like you."

With that the bastard just pushed straight past me, he found Alex asleep on the bed and slapped him hard on the backside.

"Come on Alex pull yourself together, tonight you're my special entertainment for my very important guests."

After Spenders little announcement Alex opened his eyes, then he also opened his mouth and screamed and screamed.

"Alex control yourself, If you don't shut up you will be punished harshly."

Fuck, I had really had enough of this man and he was starting to piss me off.

"Get the fuck out of here Spender, you're not welcome"

"Whatever, but remember Agent Mulder that I own this apartment along with Alex?"

I had no time to reply, as Spender walked out the paramedics entered and the screaming started all over again.

"Get the fuck out of here, who the hell asked you to come."

"Alex please calm down."

"Like fuck will I calm down, I bet this is your doing Mulder you self-righteous prick."

"I am so sorry Alex for what I have done, also what I'm about to do."

I grabbed Alex and pinned him to the bed as the sedative was administered, he lay in my arms sobbing.

I went to the hospital with Alex, however once he was settled I was told to go home, the sedative would last for a few hours. It was as I said goodbye it hit me full on what I had done to the man.

Alex was a broken man and might never fully heal mentally, God I needed to go home and get some sleep.

Xxxxxxxxxx

I woke sometime later and realized exactly where I was, the bastards even had me strapped down on the bed, fuck how the hell did I end up here.  
I remembered been at home and getting totally drunk on a bottle of vodka alone, however I was unable to remember much after that.

All I could remember was been pissed off over the Duane Barry case, maybe I had pissed off Spender without knowing it as this was defiantly his style.

My body felt battered for some reason and it was like I'd had rough sex with someone, shit had I been that drunk to have forgotten everything. I noticed the button near my hand, I pressed it over and over until someone finally came.

"Hi I'm Doctor Taylor, it's good to see you finally awake, how do you feel Alex now you have rested for a while."

"I want to know what the hell I'm doing here?"

"You were brought here after a call from an F.B.I Agent who was very concerned about your welfare, you displayed abnormal behaviour also having suicidal tendencies."

"You have got to be kidding me, don't tell me was his name Agent Mulder by any chance."

"Yes that's correct and as he’s a member of the F.B.I we have to act, once you have seen a psychiatrist we will re consider your situation."

"The bastard, we had one argument over his behaviour and he does this to me. I swear he will pay if this is his idea of a joke."

"Like I said we will take it one day at a time."

"You don't get it do you Doctor."

"What don't I get Alex?"

"Firstly I have no intention of seeing a fuckin psychiatrist, and secondly I am an F.B.I agent myself as Mulder is my partner."

"Okay Alex if you say so."

"You don't know anything about me so don't you dare patronize me, ring and ask to speak to Assistant Director Skinner my boss, ask him if Alex Krycek is one of his Agents."

"Fine I will be back shortly Alex and maybe we can sort this out."

xxxxxxxxxx

I was sat in the basement as usual when I received the call, I was to go to see Skinner straight away as it was urgent. I sat outside his office wondering what I had done now as I couldn't think of anything.  
"Come in Agent Mulder, Kimberly you can go for your lunch break now."

"Sir what's this about?"

"Please take a seat Agent Mulder."

I took a seat facing Skinners desk, I then waited while he paced a while before finally sitting down.

"I have just had a phone call from a Doctor Taylor, what the hell was you doing Agent Mulder having Agent Krycek committed."

"He's sick sir, however not as sick as some I could name."

"What is that supposed to mean Agent Mulder?"

"I know what you did to him sir, Alex told me everything."

"I've no idea what you are talking about Agent Mulder."

"Look Skinner let's not beat about the bush here, there's no point lying about it anymore. Fuck I even know that it was on my fuckin desk that you raped him."

"Okay it should never have happened and I never planned to rape him, do you think I am proud of what I've done to him, what I have done to another person makes me feel sick. However the Doctor says that Agent Krycek is claiming that you did it as a joke."

"He's not who you think he is Sir, Hell he's a spy working for that cancerous bastard."

"Yeah I had an idea that something was not quite right, so Agent Krycek is playing a very dangerous game in more ways than one. He has either blocked everything out and doesn't remember, or he remembers everything and wants revenge."

"So the big question then will be what we do if it is revenge he wants."

"I have ordered the Doctor to release him, he has been told that he can return to work as normal alongside you Agent Mulder, however we will have to try and watch him at all times."

"What about Spender then."

"I can't touch Spender as he appears to answer to no one here, I guess we will have to be very careful as I swear the man is up to something."

"Fine Sir I will get back to you and let you know what happens."

"I want frequent reports Agent Mulder."

I left Skinners office and decided to call it a day as it was quiet, and hell I needed to catch up on some sleep and maybe a hot shower would be good.  
I opened my apartment door and entered the dark room, fuck the punch severely winded me as I was pushed to the floor.

Suddenly I felt a heavy weight as I was pinned to the floor and punched in the face. Fuck that was when I saw Alex looking down at me and God did he look pissed off.

xxxxxxxx

"You deserve that Mulder, I can't believe you fuckin did that to me."

"God I am so sorry Alex, hell I never meant for it to go as far as it did, also I swear I never meant to hurt you."

"What the fuck are you babbling on about Mulder, you never hurt me just made me angry trying to have me locked up in a mental hospital?"

"Okay it’s nothing Alex, like you said just me babbling on, however I am sorry it was a bad joke."

"Revenge will be sweet Mulder."

"Shit Alex we need to sort things out if we are to work together, otherwise Skinner will have us split up doing meaningless jobs."

"You can be a prick at times Mulder, however I actually like you as a partner."

"Yeah likewise."

Yeah that was my biggest mistake and problem, I liked Mulder far more than I should in my line of work, and also the fact Spender would kill me if he found out.

I sometimes wondered if I should just disappear, I really liked been an Agent but knew it was only until Spender said different...  
I reached out my hand and pulled Mulder to his feet, the contact felt amazing and I never wanted to let go.

"I'm out of here Mulder, things to do before work in the morning,"

"Yeah Alex same here, Skinner will have my badge if I don’t finish that report.”

“The only thing that pisses me of is all the bruises, I will be dammed if I know who did them or how I got them."

"Maybe you were drunk Alex."

"Yeah I guess that would explain the memory loss, well I will see you in the morning Mulder at work."

"Yeah ok later."

"Oh and Mulder....."

"What?"

"Clean the place up it's a death trap, you have shit everywhere........"

With that I shut the door and returned home, I knew I had a lot to think about tonight.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

I got up early and showered for work, the hardest part was trying to hide the bruise from Alex as one side of my mouth was swollen. I also knew I needed to be alert and careful while working with him.

I drove into the parking garage, it was still early and that could explain the absence of Alex's car, I went to my office and sat and waited. After a while I became restless and went for a coffee then on to Skinners office, the desk for his secretary was empty so I knocked loud on Skinners door.

"Come in, ahh Agent Mulder what can I do for you."

"Agent Krycek has not turned up this morning, it's just a hunch but I think something may be wrong."

"I will call his home now Agent Mulder if this will make you feel better."

"Thank you Sir."

I stood and watched as Skinner dialled the number, it didn't take long to realize no one was going to answer it, finally Skinner gave up and replaced the handset on the cradle.

"Now what Sir."

“I want you to take a drive over there and see if Agent Krycek is at home"

"Yes Sir, what if I don't receive an answer?"

"Use your picklock as you're his concerned partner if there's any comeback, we really need to know if he's okay."

"Okay Sir I will be in touch as soon as I know anything."

I went straight to the garage for my car and then on to see Alex, it was a short drive yet I felt worried all the way there, worried as to just what I might find.

I took the stairs two at a time to the third floor and was soon outside the door, I knocked loud three times yet still received no answer. I was worried that Alex might have tried to kill himself again, and even more worried that he might have succeeded.

There was no point just guessing, it was time to use my picklock and find out one way or the other. I was greeted with nothing but silence, the apartment was the same as before and very basic with no personal items.

However when I entered the bedroom it was a totally different matter, the wardrobes along with the drawers all stood open and had one thing in common, they were totally empty and Alex Krycek had gone.

Xxxxxxxxx

I had my few belonging packed in my car, joys of my stupid fucked up life always on the run to somewhere new. I could have taken a plane to my new destination, however that would leave a trail for Spender and everyone else.

I opted to drive the full distance over 700 miles, I had estimated it would take about fourteen hours with a two hour break. By the time I arrived it was dark again and I was totally exhausted.

The log cabin in Canada was situated in a very remote location, it was old and had belonged to my Grandmother until I inherited it three years ago, and I myself had never been here since I was a small child.

My Mother was Canadian and my Father was Russian and I had been born in Russia, however we had soon moved to Canada for a short time, we then later moved to America.

I was born to a Father who had been part of the K.G.B before joining the consortium, little did I know my destiny had always been to serve Spender and do whatever he wanted me to do.

  
Great here I was still sat in my car making myself even more depressed, I knew the cabin would be in need of a good clean and warming up before it would be usable. I decided that I would sleep in the car until morning then buy some supplies to clean it up, also I would need to get the generator working.

It was hard trying to sleep in the car been the height I am however at some point I must have drifted to sleep, as the nightmares had come back. I screamed as my father hit me again, fuck he had used the belt over and over again and I would not be able to sit for days.

My backside was so sore and I just took it and cried like a baby, not that I could have done anything as my Father was not a small man, he grabbed me and threw me in the cold dark basement alone and I started to scream again.

I woke screaming and I realized it had been just a nightmare, my Father had drank himself to death many years ago and I had not even gone to his funeral. The only time I had ever felt safe was when I stayed here with my Grandma, she was a kind women and I had always been her favorite Grandchild.

How I wished she was still alive today, however she had died three years ago from old age. I realized that all I wanted was for someone to hug me again and tell me everything would be okay.

Well the time had come to face the cabin and I needed to get out of the car anyway, I soon found out that every room would need a good clean and some heat as it was starting to get damp. Maybe I should have come back sooner as my Grandmother deserved it to be looked after.

I soon found plenty of fuel for the generator and got it working, within a few hours the place was looking a lot brighter and it felt a lot warmer too. I sorted the bedroom out as I would need a good sleep later and I even found an old photo album, which would give me something to do later.

I soon realized it would be dark again soon, I had been so engrossed in the cleaning and forgot the time but I needed supplies before everywhere closed.

I drove to the nearest small town and traded my car in, a pick up would be far better for out here and for my needs especially with snow chains fitted. Next stop was plenty of food and supplies to last at least a couple of months, I knew that winter out here could last months and be well below freezing.

If I had to be honest with myself I only had one concern, cabin fever as a few months alone could cause that. I decided to buy some wood and paint as having things to do would keep my mind off been alone.

At the end of the day I was alive all I had to do was remember that, been alone was far better than working for Spender and co and all I had wanted was to be normal.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

I had to go back and give Skinner the news that Alex was gone, I was left wondering if Spender had a hand in his disappearance or if it had been Alex who had decided to go.

Great I had to be in Skinners office right now, I wondered what the cancerous bastard wanted now.

"Skinner, Mulder I am here looking for one of your agents."

"Go to hell Spender, nor would I or Agent Mulder tell you anything even if we knew."

So it appeared that even Spender had no idea where Alex was, even so I could not help winding Spender up.

"What's up Spender have you lost your little plaything, don't worry Alex told me everything about you."

"You know nothing about me Agent Mulder, hell you don't even know anything about your own father."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Look closer to home Agent Mulder, better still go ask Mummy who she slept with when you were conceived."

"You fuckin bastard."

"Stay out of my business Agent Mulder or your life will be hell."

"Right I have had enough of the pair of you, Agenda Mulder back to work now, Spender get the hell out of my office."

Jesus Skinner was loud when he was pissed off, I would rather be in my office before he really started kicking off.

"Fine I'm going, however I will be keeping an eye on you Spender"

I walked out of Skinners office before Spender had chance to reply, great how the hell would I be able to find Alex now. Sometimes I thought it best he had gone after what I did, however the biggest part of me wanted him back.

God I had to face reality and that was that Alex had gone, also he wouldn't want me anyway after what I'd done.

xxxxxxxxxx

I had prepared for the oncoming winter that could last for months, I also knew the weather could be extreme in this part of the country. I really believed that I was happy now that I answered to no one, I had my freedom and a normal life.

The cabin was starting to look like a real home now, I had managed to do the repairs while painting it throughout. I was now working on some new units for the kitchen, then finally I would be able to finish it. 

I was outside in the shed when I first heard the noise, it was a low whining noise that kept getting louder, the first thing I did was grab my gun from inside the cabin, it was instinct and a habit that was hard to break after a life on the run.

I went outside to look and noticed the blood in the snow, I decided what the hell, and I followed the trail until I found the source of the blood and the noise. There in the bush was a tiny little puppy and I was not sure if it was a husky, it was snow white and fluffy and blended in with the snow apart from the blood.

I scooped it up and went indoors into the warmth, I cleaned the cut paw and gave him some food yet he just sat there looking at me. I realized that someone must have abandoned it out here in the middle of nowhere, I knew how it felt to be abandoned, fuck it that was one path I really did not want to go down right now.

I had realized it was male when it had pissed on my kitchen floor, I grabbed a blanket and made a bed for the dog to sleep in, he then just sat there staring like a little white ghost.

"I think I'm going to call you Spooky, you sit there sizing me up just like Mulder used too."

Great I had spent months without talking to anyone yet here I sat talking to a dog, however over time Spooky became my companion and friend and even slept one my bed now. It never bothered me as I think we both needed each other, even more so when the nightmares started all over again night after night.

The nightmares had started with my Father locking me in the basement, then it was me black and blue from the beating off my Father either by his hand or his belt. Over time the nightmares became worse as after my childhood came Spender. I had been beaten and raped on many occasions at the hands of Spender or his associates.  
I soon realized just how fucked up my life had been, then the nightmares became things that had never even happened to me. I guess that my brain was working overtime and connecting all the events together, things got worse later on when I woke in a sweat despite how cold the room was, and in this nightmare it had been Skinner that was hurting me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Slowly the weeks turned into months, I missed Alex so much and used work as a way to try and forget, the nights on the other hand were a different story as I was alone and had time to think.

So here I was again Spooky Mulder unwanted and all alone in the basement once more, sometimes I wondered why the hell I even bothered with my pathetic life.

The only friends I had and accepted me were the gunmen, they had helped so much over the months in my search for Alex, yet all this time later and Alex had just disappeared without a trace.

The gunmen came over every Friday evening, I provided the beers and pizza while they swept my apartment for bugs and cameras. It was good once a week to have company also knowing no one was listening in.

So many times they wanted me to get security and cameras and maybe the time had finally come, I was sick of everyone spying on me and coming and going as they pleased.

I was in Skinners office as I needed him to sign off a 302 for me, there was a knock on the door and Spender just walked in uninvited.

"I've just come to check if you have heard anything as my wayward employee is still AWOL."

God how I hated this smug bastard, Spender really thought he owned everyone and boss them around.

"You know that we don't have him or know where he is, oh also keep your fuckin lackeys out of my apartment."

"I assure you Agent Mulder that I know nothing, my men have been nowhere near you or your apartment."

"That's why I keep removing cameras and bugs every week, well believe me they won't get in next time."

Spender was just about to speak however Skinner beat him to it.

"I am getting sick of you two fighting in my office so take it somewhere else."

"Fuck that he's not worth it."

"You will watch your mouth Agent Mulder while you're in my office, you would do well to remember that you are an F.B.I Agent"

I never spoke as I just turned around and walked out, who the hell did Skinner think he was as he was no saint.

It was time to call the gunmen and get that security fitted, I had well and truly had enough of everyone.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It hit me like a thunderbolt and I realized it was not a nightmare, fuck everything suddenly came flooding back in graphic detail. Mulders desk and the rape also all the pain I had suffered.

It had been nearly a full year now, hell I had a new life now and there was Spooky too, I know to some people it's not a lot however I am happy. Shit could I still be happy now knowing Skinner was still out there, knowing that he had got away with what he had done.

If I am honest with myself I can't sit back and let it go, I wanted revenge as far too many people had used me in my life and I was sick of been treat like a door mat.

Shit Skinner was a powerful man and I would need one hell of a plan, I had been out of the loop for too long and needed to find out what was going on. Great I would also need to find somewhere to leave Spooky as I could not leave him alone, also there was no way I could take him with me.

I took a trip into the nearest town to a certain shop, it was owned by an old lady who had known my Grandmother for many years. I explained to her that I had to go away on business for a couple of weeks, I needed to know where I could find some good reliable kennels.

The lady had given Spooky attention and treats on many of our visits, that’s why it had been so easy to leave him when she offered to have him herself.  
Finally after making another trip with Spookys food and stuff I was back home, it was so quiet and I realized it was only the company of Spooky that kept me sane.

I went in to my bedroom and went to the closet and removed a box, the box I swore was my past and that I would never open again.  
The box was my past and most of it I had hated, there was my leather jacket, knuckle duster, gun, garrote and much more, there was also my F.B.I badge and ID that had been a part of my past I had liked at first. ..

I would need to sort out all the items I needed to take with me, also the fake passports and driving license might be handy. I laid everything I needed out on the bed and was soon ready to leave here.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After work I spent a few hours with the gunmen, we made plans and arranged exactly what security they would install. Firstly I would have plenty of locks and we had a few other wacky ideas between us, between the four of us we came up with the perfect security system.

 Only a couple more days and the boys would be back to install it all, let's see if the bastards still manage to get in then.

I was feeling really pleased with myself and glad I had finally listened to the gunmen, Spender would not be too happy if he sent any goons my way, finally I decided things were looking up.

I hung around for a couple more hours just catching up on things, they filled me in about all the latest U.F.O activity and everything else going on, and they also informed me that there was still no news regarding Alex.

Finally we called it a night and all said our goodbyes, I then drove back home to my cold dark apartment. I decided that the light from the fish tank was bright enough for my needs and what I had planned, you don't need a lot of light to get drunk and jerk off.

I went and took a shower and got changed then hit the kitchen for some beer, the beer was really cold and tasted good and I had plenty more in the fridge. I lay back on the sofa and watched the images flicker on the screen, soon the two people on the screen held no interest as my mind was elsewhere.

I was remembering how good it felt been deep inside Alex a feeling I would never know again, soon my right hand found its way inside my pants and I was coming screaming his name.

The next thing I knew was the hammering on my door, shit I jumped up really fast and turned off the T.V and made sure I looked okay, it was only then that I went and opened the door.

"Shit Scully what time is it."

"It's ten am Mulder. Skinner sent me to find you and check you're okay."

"I guess the lack of sleep finally caught up with me, I just need twenty minutes for a quick shower and get dressed."

"Skinner said to give you half an hour then drag you in if necessary, so I guess I will be making the coffee then."

I really could not believe I had slept for that long, soon it was time to go back to work and face the world as better late than never.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

I soon had everything ready and packed in to a small hold all, also I had a suit bag with a freshly cleaned and pressed suit. Soon I was showered and dressed in my black jeans and top, finally I put on my leather jacket and it felt good like a second skin.

Once I was ready I grabbed my bags before taking one last look at the place I had made a home, I knew that deep down I may never come back. Suddenly I felt really sick and depressed as I had worked so hard for the home and life I had, and here I was about to risk throwing it all away for the sake of revenge.

I finally walked out of the door without even looking back, the pain was too much and I felt like I was throwing everything away. I only had to wait a few minutes and the cab came to a stop, soon I was inside the cab and on my way to the airport.

A couple of hours later I arrived in D.C a place I swore I would never return to, I hired a car using my fake credentials as I didn't want anyone knowing I was back. I found a cheap motel as it was all I needed, somewhere to grab some sleep and change clothes as I had no intention of hanging around for too long, as soon as I got my revenge on Skinner I would be gone again.

I had been out of the loop for some time now but I knew where his labs where, if anything Spender was a creature of habit and set in his ways, also the fact that he believed he was untouchable.

I only needed to locate one specific lab, I had heard before all about the experiments and the Nano technology, also about its many uses and just what it could do to a human. However firstly I needed to get into the lab and locate just what I needed, hell then I had to manage to get out alive and in one piece.

I found a small cafe that had reasonably good food as I needed to eat for the strength, I went back to the motel and set my alarm for  two am as hopefully then I would be more alert.

I armed myself with a small arsenal of items that might come in handy if I was noticed, I grabbed my gun and set off for the lab now there was no turning back and the game had begun, also I would take out anyone who stood in my way regardless of who they were.

I felt wide awake and was high from the adrenalin rush, I had always preferred the dark and it seemed to like me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

My life went on and I had to accept that Alex was gone for good, either just disappeared or dead in a gutter somewhere. It hurt like hell that I would never get to say goodbye or even sorry.

Alex had deserved better than me anyway, that was the reason I decided to go for a drink with Skinner, it was by no means a date just two men having a drink after work.  
It made a change to go out and it was going well until I got depressed and rather drunk, then I started babbling about all sorts.

"Mulder are you okay?"

"I fucked up big time Walt, I have nothing left in my life worth having whatsoever."

"You have friends Mulder, people who really care about you and love you."

"Yet how come I feel so alone, I don't fuckin deserve anyone anyway after what I've done."

Shit the next minute I felt Skinners arms go around me, God then suddenly his lips where upon mine and I had to struggle to get free.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Sorry Mulder I thought you wanted company, maybe even a relationship."

"I want nothing other than friendship, I am in love with someone else but I fucked it up big time."

"Things can't be that bad Mulder, if you try I bet you could make it up with them."

"You don't get it do you Walter I am in love with Alex Krycek, yet I beat the shit out of him and then violently raped him."

"Oh Jesus Mulder I never knew."

"It's hardly the thing you go around bragging about."

"Yeah believe me I know all about that skeleton in the cupboard."

"To make things worse I raped him and abused him, shit then later I found out you had raped him the same day."

"God no wonder he was suicidal and just disappeared."

"That was why I had him locked up because he tried to shoot himself, I walked in to find him playing Russian roulette with his own gun, my guess is that he left to end his life after I tried stopping him, but either way he never deserved what we did to him that day."

"No kidding."

"I'm calling a cab Walter, to be honest I just think I need a good night’s sleep."

Soon I was back in my apartment, I left all the lights off and just lay on the couch alone in the dark with my thoughts, sometime or other sleep finally claimed me.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

I was amazed just how lax security was around here, especially as most of Spenders men were incompetent idiots. My false I.D was holding up rather well so far and I had managed to get in to the lab, I would be okay as long as no one knew who I really was, otherwise I would be facing Spender once more.

I searched for the item I needed then secured them securely in a metal flask then pulled out a ski mask, once I entered the room I cold cocked the guard and grabbed the security tape.

Spender would soon find out someone had broken in, however he would have no idea who or what they wanted, I managed to get back to my car and high tail it out of there, I never relaxed until I was back in my own motel room.

I felt far cleaner once I'd had a shower, anywhere near Spenders men made me feel dirty, and I changed clothes and also put on a wig and fake beard and hoped the disguise would work. I now had no time to rest as it was early morning, I also knew the best place to get Skinner was the gym and he was a very punctual man.

It couldn't have gone any better if I had tried, it had been easy as I had just blended in with the crowd and Skinner had paid me no attention at all. I waited until sometime later and then I sent him a message, the fun was just beginning and payback would be a bitch for Skinner.

I rang his phone and waited for a reply.

"Yeah Skinner hello."

"Walter Skinner."

"Who is this?"

"Have... you heard the news? It’s in you."

"What is this?"

"You have twenty four hours to go."

"What is this? What do you want?"

"You are already dead."

With that I ended the communication as I now had Skinners attention, I had what I wanted and now I just had to wait.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

I had arrived for work late the next morning due to my headache from the night before, to make up for it I worked until late that evening. However I was surprised to find Skinner still here at this hour, I found him laid on the couch yet he was still awake.

"What is it Agent Mulder?"

"I just thought I'd poke my head in and say hey."

"Hey."

"What are you sleeping one off?"

"No I was having trouble seeing, it's nothing I just didn't think I should drive."

"You going to be alright Sir."

When I received no answer I knew it was time to call Scully.  
After Scully had examined him we saw the bruise and learned about the threats, Scully believed that Skinner may have been poisoned by someone.

It was only later after watching the security that we saw Doctor Orgel.  
Jesus we had learnt it was something to do with SR819 but we had no idea what, I was getting really pissed off with life lately including my job and my past, people seemed to be either getting at me all the time or my friends.

I had gone off in search of some lead when I got the call from Scully, shit Skinner had been admitted to the hospital and it was critical as they were even talking about cutting his arm off. I drove to the hospital as fast as I dare but was not expecting what I saw, shit I wanted to throw up when I saw the state of Skinner.

Suddenly a phone started to ring and I knew it wasn't mine, then the nurse brings me Skinners phone and I decide to answer it.

"Hello."

"You might as well give up."

I turn and tell Scully it's a computer.

"You can't stop it."

I realized that someone must know Skinners here

"Walter Skinner your time......"

Sod that, I was sick of standing here listening to this crap and just handed the phone to Scully. I ran in to the hospital corridor to see a scruffy looking bearded man, this had to be him as he was holding something and started running.

Bingo, I gave chase however the bastard had crashed his car and got away, I would swear that how that man moved was so familiar.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I had followed Skinner for some time, shit I soon realized someone else was after him when they tried to run him over, I wanted revenge and for Skinner to suffer not kill him. I was left with no choice but to run the man over, I then did my good deed of the day and phoned for an ambulance for Skinner.

Mulder had looked so tired at the hospital and fed up, I had been there for a while just watching him and Scully. I would have done anything for that man and perhaps still would, however it had started as hero worship until the idiot I am fell in love with him, none of that mattered anymore as it all went to hell anyway.

Mulder had been one of the many reasons that I had done a runner, there was no way I could betray him like Spender had planned for me to do. I had this deep down feeling there had been something else that had made me run, however for the life of me I could not remember what it was.

My plan with Skinner appeared to be working and I had to decide how far to go, I could kill him if I chose but that was not the plan. I wanted plain old fashioned revenge for the pain and humiliation I had suffered, he was my superior and I had trusted him yet he fuckin raped me on Mulders desk.

Fuck I could not believe just how fast Mulder could run, he had entered the corridor and literally given chase in seconds. I had a close call that time getting away and needed to be more careful next time.

Later I returned to the hospital to finish Walter Skinner once and for all, even if it was just for a few minutes. The look on the Doctors face was priceless, one minute Skinner was covered over and dead then he suddenly sat up alive.

Once skinner is feeling better and back at work its phase two, I sit in the rear of his car and wait for him. I remind him that he now belongs to me and does what I want, I'm sure he never wants to feel pain like that again in his life. I inform Skinner that if he makes me use it again he will be dead for good, not that I plan to be around to use it anymore.

Skinner had kept it a secret that I was the one who caused him the suffering, now it was time to go and pay Mulder a visit before I left for good.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The length people go to can be really scary, I really thought we had lost Skinner for good and that his life was over.  
We had managed to get some photos from the security camera and took them to Skinner, yet he sat there behind his desk just staring at the pictures shaking his head, he claimed to have no idea who his torturer had been.

We were ordered to stay well away and follow up no leads, however I would swear and put every penny on who it was, the eyes that locked tight with mine in that corridor belonged to only one man, Alex Krycek.

I decided to hang around after work so I could go see Skinner alone, I was hoping that if it was just us he would tell me who it was. When I arrived at Skinners office Kimberly was long gone, I knew Skinner had a habit of staying behind and working late on many occasions, I knocked on his office door and waited.

"Come in."

Skinners baritone voice was unmistakable so I entered the room.

"Sir."

"It's late Agent Mulder so can we make this quick as I was about to leave."

"That depends on you Sir, I came about the man in the photos and the hospital."

"There is nothing to talk about Agent Mulder."

"For fucks sake Sir he nearly killed you and you know who did it don't you?"

"You would do well to watch your mouth in my office, I don't know who it was so just go home Agent Mulder."

"I know it was Alex Krycek Sir."

"Mulder he will kill me next time."

"I swear Sir nothing you say will leave this room."

"It had better not or I will be finished."

"I have kept my mouth shut about a lot Sir."

"Yeah I am sorry Mulder, hell I should have more trust in you after the secrets you have kept. I just went through so much and I can't do it again."

"I take it he wanted revenge for the rape."

"Yeah but I think he has had his revenge for that, for fucks sake he killed me and brought me back to life."

Suddenly we were interrupted by a knock at the door, I quickly hid out of site in case it was Spender while Skinner told them to enter yet I had not been prepared for what I heard.  
"What the fuck do you want Krycek."

"That's not very nice Walter, especially when all I have to do is push a button."

"I am not in the mood for games so I will ask just once more, what do you want Krycek."

"The tape Walter dearest."

"Whatever."

I watched as Skinner handed a video cassette over to Alex Krycek, then I realized what it was.

"See that wasn't too hard was it Walter, far better than the painful way I believe."

"Don't stand there fluttering your eyelashes at me while you patronize me."

"You know what they say Walt, if you've got it flaunt it."

I was getting sick of standing here doing nothing, and for sure this was no longer the Alex I knew and loved.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shit I suddenly heard a voice behind me, I turned just as Skinner punched me in the mouth.

"You'll pay for that Walter, I warned you that this was between you and me so what is he doing here."

"I came to see if he was okay, you see unlike you Alex he has friends."

"Fuck you Mulder."

"In your dreams Alex."

"No I will pass, I bet good old Walt gives you a good reaming every now and then."

"Alex please this has to end, you can't live like this or expect others too either."

Fuck all this shit, I would pay a visit to Mulders apartment when he was alone and deal with him.

"You humiliated me, fuck you shoved me over Mulders desk and raped me hard. I was just a rookie for fucks sake and expected to play your games, guess what Wally it's now my turn to play."

"God Alex I am so sorry for what I did to you, I have to live with that eating away at me for the rest of my life."

"Poor Walt well fuck you, you're nothing but a fuckin rapist. I am out of here as I have better places to be."

I turned to face Mulder as he spoke to me.

"Please Alex can't we at least talk."

"No Mulder, stay the hell away from me or I will kill Skinner and then you."

I shoved the tape in my pocket and walked out, enough was enough for one day and I would go see Mulder tomorrow. I called at a shop and bought the strongest vodka as I suddenly had the urge to get drunk, in all fairness I could not remember the last time I’d had a drink.

The idea once I was in my hotel was to drink and block everything out, tomorrow after my visit to Mulder I would return home back to the life I had, first I needed to clean my mouth up as I could feel the bruise forming.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jesus I could not believe the events that had just happened, or that Skinner had to suffer like this at the hands of Alex.

"Sir you can't go on like this."

"What choice do I have Agent Mulder, I swear that I would rather die than suffer that again."

"Shit we must have really fucked him up big-time, I often wondered afterwards if he was even gay."

"Yeah that thought had crossed my mind too, I have tried to apologize but Alex won't stop until he has his revenge Agent Mulder."

"Well I guess it’s time I was off home, goodnight Sir I will see you in the morning."

"Goodnight Agent Mulder, make sure you watch your back too."

"You can count on it Sir."

"Agent Mulder don't forget about the class you have in the morning."

"How could I forget Sir?"

It was nearly midnight when I finally managed to make it home, all I longed for was a hot shower and some sleep. Great I had totally forgot about the stupid team building class, it was for the handful of Agents who found it hard to work with others.

I soon showered and packed some clothes, once done I set my alarm for six am which meant very little sleep as usual, that was when I noticed the note on the coffee table.

Mulder dude,  
Cameras have been set up in the living room and kitchen. The panel is near the door and really straight forward to use, the code is 1013 so activate it when you leave.  
Later  
Langley

The cameras were on a link directly to the lone Gunmen's hideout, I would know straight away if anyone paid me a visit also who. It had crossed my mind to keep people out but where's the fun in that? as it's far better to know your enemies and who you're dealing with.

I soon drifted to sleep and before I knew it the alarm was going off, great my day of been a team buddy what joy. I hate it when Skinner sends me on these stupid courses as they are a waste of time, however I have been warned that I go or I will end up losing my job.

It was over an hour’s drive at this time of day, not that it would have bothered me if I never got there. There were twelve of us in total in the class and we were all given a name badge, then it was on to solve a fake case with your team buddy. My team buddy was some big headed prick who thought he knew everything, he should have worked with Scully as all he talked about was science.

It was over two hours later when I received a call from Langley.

"Hey Langley what's up."

"Mulder your cameras just came on as you have a visitor."

"Great I only had them installed yesterday, do you know who it is."

"Yeah I'm watching him right now, it's Alex Krycek."

"Fine I'm on my way home now."

"Mulder just be careful."

"Why what's up."

"Krycek is just sitting there on your couch with his gun out, I think he's waiting for you Mulder."

"I'll be fine and thanks’ for the concern."

"Take care man and ring later."

"Will do and thanks again Langley, catch you later."

I hung up and made my excuses to leave, over an hour later I was back outside my apartment, it was time to end this stupid game once and for all.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I had spent the evening getting totally pissed as I was fed up with everything, my life was just total shit and maybe I should just end it here and now. What reason did I have to go home for anyway, a cabin where all I had was a dog for company. 

I grabbed my gun from beside the bed and just held it, one bullet was all it would take to end all my suffering for good. However suddenly I had a sense of de ja vu me sat there some other time with a gun in my hand, I ran to the toilet and threw up until my stomach was empty.  
Suddenly everything was so clear for the first time in ages, I guess I had blocked everything out because I loved Mulder but it was time to face the truth. Mulder had declared his love for me and stopped me from killing myself, he had then brutally raped me and put me in a mental hospital.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe as I had been such a fuckin idiot.  
I had become so obsessed with what Skinner had done to me, I'd had to leave Skinners office fast earlier because Mulder was there. I was incapable of handling my feelings and could not believe Mulder would do that to me, I felt so hurt and mixed up and without a clue what to do.

I really thought things couldn't get any worse for me, now I had to decide where I was going and what I wanted to do. At the moment my best option was to just take a bullet, yeah the easy way out of this life once and for all.

A couple of hours had passed as I just sat there, fuck this it was time to get even with the world then sort out my own pathetic life. I grabbed a few things that I might need, the rest of my belongings were back in the hold all in my car as I had no intention of returning to the motel.

I'd driven over to Mulders to find no one in, as usual it had been so easy to gain entry as he was so lax about his own safety. I now just sat on the couch just waiting for Mulder, I had no idea when he might come home but I had no plans so it was okay.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Soon I stood outside my own apartment door just listening, I was greeted by total silence as I gathered the nerve to enter. I had decided to keep my gun in the holster as I owed it to Alex to take whatever he gave me, I counted slowly to ten and entered shutting the door behind me.

"Leave the light off Mulder."

"What do you want Alex as I’m too tired for games?"

"You have the nerve to ask me what I want, I want to see you suffer Mulder like I did."

"God Alex I am so sorry for what happened but I can't change it."

"Sorry for what you bastard, raping me or locking me up or sorry because I got out..... Fuck you Mulder as I don't accept your apology."

"Please Alex just listen we need to talk about this."

"It's beyond talking, cuff yourself now or I will put a bullet in you."

"You what, you have got to be joking."

"You heard me Mulder, cuff yourself and believe me it's no joke."  
Great I realized that Alex was serious and I had little choice, shit I didn't like the idea of been cuffed one bit yet I still obeyed. Alex turned the lamp on even though I wished he hadn't, the look on his face made my blood freeze in my veins.

"Good boy, you see Mulder it wasn't that hard to do as you're told."

"Shit Alex I said I'm sorry, I can't do any more than apologize to you."

"Oh you can do more, you wanted me so you can have me then."

"What are you going to do to me Alex?"

I never got an answer, Alex jumped up and was right in my face pushing me until I smacked my head against the wall. Fuck I sat there dazed and tried to clear my vision, I never had long to recover as Alex pulled me back on to my feet.

“Stay on your feet Mulder, believe me this is just the beginning of your nightmare."

He wasted no time removing one of the cuffs while I was dazed, there I was thinking he was letting me go what a joke, within seconds he had my hands re cuffed behind my back this time. He then dragged me towards the bedroom and shoved me hard, I lay there face down on the bed with my hands cuffed behind my back, soon Alex sat over me and I realized I was well and truly trapped.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

God the effect having Mulder pinned under me was amazing, I also knew I would come in my pants if I didn't move soon.

"How does it feel Mulder to have no control at all?"

"Alex what do you want from me."

"I thought that was obvious, I want you, hell I want to be deep inside you until you scream."

"Alex I am begging you please don't do this I was wrong, you're better than this."

"Yeah well maybe you should have thought about it before you did it, your ass is mine Mulder so just accept it."

I reached around him and unfastened his pants, soon I had managed to remove them along with his underwear. Fuck suddenly Mulder tried to kick me hard and I had to move fast, shit the bastard had just missed my balls.

I took my hand and slapped his bare ass as hard as I could, I then grabbed a couple of pillows to put under him.

"Try kicking me again you bastard and you're dead, I swear I will kill you here and now."

"I would rather be dead than this."

"Now you know how I felt Mulder, twice in one fucking day and you wouldn't let me end it."

"Believe me I would give anything to change things, shit I had just wanted you so much and I fucked up."

"Well guess what Mulder, now you get me on my terms."

I removed all of my clothes and stood there naked, it was time to get this show on the road. I decided to forget about the lube and making it easy for him, I wanted to make sure he felt it and would never forget about me.

"Come on Mulder just relax, hell you know it will be far worse on you if you don't."

"Fuck you Alex as there's no way I am participating in this."

"Fine, whatever Mulder as it's going to hurt regardless as I'll make sure of it."

I pushed as hard as I could until I breached the outer ring before pushing fully inside, Jesus H Christ I had to stop before I came. However Mulder on the other hand lay there shaking and crying.

"Just remember Mulder you made me do this, I fuckin hate you so much you fuckin bastard.”

The thrusts were becoming really violent, I know that Mulder was paying for what he and Skinner had done but I didn't care.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Fuck the forced entry had been excruciating and I wanted it to end, I wanted Alex out of me more than anything but Alex had other ideas. Soon Alex was pulling out of me and slamming back in full force, fuck the bastard was also whispering in my ear as he raped me.

Shit I started to sob like a fuckin baby, I cried for myself and the situation I was in, also I cried for Alex and what I had lost. God was that how it had felt for Alex when we raped him, what the fuck had we done to Alex's mental state to drive him to this.

The next time Alex shoved his cock in hard I felt him hit my prostate, fuck no, there was no way I wanted to get hard while he raped me.

"Please Alex don't do this I love you so much."

"Why you know you’re hard for me and want to come."

"No not like this, shit I wanted to make love to you and won't come this way."

"Yeah well we don't all get what we want do we Mulder, we wanted the same thing but you fucked it up when you raped me."

"Fine just finish it Alex, if you hate me that much just get it over with."

"That would be too easy."

Soon Alex was screaming as he came within me, then he started screaming for a totally different reason.

"I hate you, I hate you, I hate you."

Suddenly he was punching me in the chest until he finally collapsed on top of me, I lay there for so long in pain but I needed Alex to move.

"Please Alex I can't breathe."

I felt the weight lift off me and I could breathe once more, I could hear Alex moving around behind me.

"Please Alex just let me go now."

"Soon Mulder."

I felt his soft lips against my cheek as he kissed me, I also felt his tears drop on to my face.

"I am so sorry for what I have done, I hope one day you manage to forgive me."

That was when he smacked me against the side of the head that was also when everything went black.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

God I had been in Heaven and it had been a real high fucking his tight ass, however as usual everything good had to come to an end. Now I had to face the big come down after the high and it fuckin hurt, I had just raped a man and felt like filth.

Shit I just stood there looking down at Mulder and the pain was unbearable, I had wanted a relationship were there was love and hope for a future together. I had no idea where I would go from here as I felt so lost and alone.

Great I had punched him in the head and he was out cold, I got a warm cloth and cleaned him up not that it would help. Once that was done I took the key and removed the cuffs, shit his wrists were cut raw from where they had been and the sheet was red in places. I had done this to him and it made me want to throw up, I pulled a blanket over his naked body and kissed him once more stroking his face, it was time to move on and I knew this was the last time I would see him.

I'd had my revenge on Mulder and Skinner, yet I was the one who felt so sick and dirty, it was time to get cleaned up and get the hell out of here, out of Mulders life for good. I had a quick wash and took a leak, once that was done I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror.

Fuck that was when the reality of what I'd done sank in, I was a dirty rapist and no better than Mulder or Skinner. I knew that I could not live with myself after what I had done and it would destroy me, it would eat away at me bit by bit day after day.

I'd had a new home and a new life yet I had thrown it away for revenge, I should have just stayed away and never come back to do what I did. It hit me full on like a brick, I had nothing worth living for anymore. I opened Mulders medicine cabinet and pulled everything in to the sink, shit it looked like I wasn't going to have a great choice.

That was when I saw the razor packet with just one left in, one was all it would take to do what I had planned. I took a heavy bottle and smashed it on to the razor exposing the blade, I never thought twice about it as I slid the sharp blade easily over my wrists.

I felt nothing apart from cold and empty, however soon I started to feel light headed then very little else.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

I awoke to find myself alone on the bed and the restraints gone, also that I had a blanket over me. I felt like shit and my ass fuckin hurt real bad yet there was a worse feeling, my heart ached and the pain hurt so much over the loss of Alex. I reached and turned the bedside light on as I needed to move and get a shower that was when I noticed all of Alex's clothes on the chair.

So it appeared Alex was still here in the apartment, well there were not that many rooms he could be in. I grabbed my dressing gown and fastened it tight as I was scared of the man I loved so much.

I made my way to the bathroom as all I wanted was a really hot shower, however there was no way I had been prepared for the sight that greeted me.

There on the bathroom floor lay Alex covered in blood and unmoving.  
I rushed over to him bending down to check for a pulse, I had never felt so relived in my life as I did at that moment. It was not really strong but there was a faint pulse so I wrapped some towels around his wrists to stem the blood flow. I knew that Alex needed to be in the hospital and fast as he would need a transfusion.

I left Alex just long enough to call the ambulance, I then sat back holding him close to me and waited for them to arrive The knock at the door was the best sound I had heard in ages, while they went in to the bathroom I grabbed some clothes and quickly dressed.

Once we arrived at the hospital I was led to a waiting room where I paced the floor for over two hours, finally a Doctor arrived to tell me I could go see Alex as he was now stable, and the blood transfusion had gone well.

I was nervous about seeing him as this would be the second time I'd had him put in a hospital, however this time he could not deny that he'd tried to commit suicide. When I entered the room Alex was still asleep, he looked so young and vulnerable and I still loved him so much and wanted him.

God I was so tired and every bit of my body ached one way or another, I kissed him on the cheek and sat in the chair with my head on the bed and held his hand, soon sleep was to claim my weary body and mind.

xxxxxxxxxx

I woke and struggled as I found it hard to open my eyes that was when I realized that I was once again in a fuckin hospital. Great well I guess that meant that I was still alive and kicking, that was when I looked down and saw Mulder with his head on the bed fast asleep, and just to top it off he was holding my hand.

I didn't want to be here after what I'd done, also I could not understand why the hell Mulder came with me after what I had done to him. Fuck I had raped the man I loved and was now a rapist, shit I was now no better than Mulder or Skinner.

I could not take anymore and needed to get the hell out of this place, fuck that was when I realized that Mulder was now awake and just watching me.

"Hey you're awake Alex, how do you feel."

"You tell me Mulder, for fucks sake how do you think I feel now after abusing you and to top it off raping you."  
“It wasn't your fault Alex, hell I asked for everything right from that first day."

Shit now I was fucked as I struggled to hold back the tears and to breathe, if I had to be saved and be alive I had to get away from here.  
I remembered the life I had made for myself, I'd had a wonderful home and Spooky for comfort and I missed him so much. He may only be a dog but he had been there when I had no one.

"Mulder please just walk out of that door and never come back."

"I can't do that Alex, shit I don't know how you can even expect me to."

"Because we can't be together Mulder, it would only be a matter of time before we ended up killing each other."

"We can work it out Alex, please I love you so much."

"Mulder please listen to me, I can't do this and you need to understand that. I can't be here or with you, I have a new life away from you Spender and Skinner."

"Time is all I ask for, please just give me a chance."  
"I need time alone Mulder to sort out my own feelings, also I need some time to rest."

"You sleep Alex and I will be here for you when you wake up."

"Time alone to think means just that, I need to be alone so please just go home for tonight, hell Mulder you could use some sleep yourself."

I lay there praying that Mulder would just go and leave me alone, as a few hours would be all I would need to sort myself out.

Xxxxxxxxxx

"Fine Alex I'll come back in the morning if that’s what you really want."

I kissed Alex on the cheek and got up to leave, not that it was what I wanted.

"Please Alex just remember that I love you so much and we can work it out."

"I love you too Mulder however it changes nothing."

"You're not even going to try and make it work are you Alex?"

"Goodnight Mulder."

I left Alex alone as I knew he was not listening to me anymore, however on the way home I had to see the Gunmen. I did not trust Alex at all and I wanted him watched at all times and followed no matter where he went.

Frohike was thrilled to have the honour and saw it as a challenge, he got to follow Alek Krycek around without been seen or losing him.  
I knew deep down that Alex would do a runner, I guess it was just his way of dealing with life and his feelings.

I arrived home rather late, shit I had forgotten the state of my apartment when I had last left it.... The bathroom looked like an abattoir as it was still covered with Alex's blood, then to top it off the bed sheets were covered in my own blood, however the room still held a scent that was only Alex.

I had a friend who worked in the clean-up department and he owed me a favour, he said it was no problem and he would be over in a few hours. I grabbed a hanger and hung up all of Alex's clothes ready to take in the morning, I could not help but smile at the thought that entered my head, Alex's face when he realized he has no clothes to do a runner in.

It had been a long night by the time my apartment was cleaned up, there were no traces of blood anywhere and they were good at what they did., hell maybe I should get them to clean it on a regular basis.

I phoned Frohike and checked what was happening, apparently Alex was still in his hospital bed asleep, I informed him that I was turning my phone off for a couple of hours as I needed sleep, I would contact him as soon as I woke up.

Xxxxxxxxxx

I had woke from a really troubled sleep and felt like shit, however I knew I had to get the hell out of here before morning. I had to leave as there was no way I could face Mulder again, fuck that was when I realized I had no clothes and could not leave undetected in a gown.

Fuck it, there was no way I was staying no matter what, I slipped out of my bed and sneaked out of my room into the silent corridor. Soon I found an occupied room where the patient was asleep and helped myself to his clothes, I crept back in to my own room to dress ready to leave.

Once dressed in the cord pants and brown jumper I knew I would need to go to Mulders, shit I looked hideous in the clothes I was wearing. I needed my own clothes plus all my weapons and stuff to get the hell away from here, if all went well I would be on a flight soon on my way home, back to my life and Spooky.

I grabbed a white Doctors coat and left without a problem, I also found a car that was easy to hot wire and was soon on my way to forty-two Hegal place. I drove at a normal speed all the way there as the last thing I wanted was to be pulled over for speeding.

Call it a sixth sense, or call it whatever but I would swear that I was been followed, maybe it was just me been extremely paranoid. Soon I pulled up outside Mulders apartment and got out of the stolen car, I then decided it would be easier to take the stairs to the fourth floor.

I soon picked the lock as the security was so lax, how the hell Mulder survived as a G man was beyond me at times, the man did not seem to care who came and went.

Upon entering I noticed that Mulder was fast asleep on the couch, hopefully I could get out of here without having to have a confrontation with Mulder.  
Well that had been the plan, how stupid could I have been to underestimate a man like Agent Fox Mulder.

xxxxxxxxxx

I was a light sleeper and awoke to the sound of the door, however I decided to just lay there and fake sleep.  
Alex went into the bedroom only to reappear within a few minutes, now though he was fully dressed.

"Where the fuck are you going Alex."

"Please Mulder, I came here for what's mine so just let me go."

"I can't Alex, I'm so sorry but I love you so much."

"What a fuckin joke Mulder, if you really loved me you would let me go."

I could not believe it when Alex just turned around towards the door, the bastard was going to just walk out of here, out of my life. I saw red and charged full force towards him knocking him to the floor, I then preceded to sit on top of him pinning him to the floor.

"Get the fuck off me!" 

"Calm down Alex, hell I only want to talk to you."

"Fuck you Mulder."

"Well you've already fucked me but hey, I'm sure you could do it again."

"You fuckin bastard."

"I'm sorry, shit Alex that was low of me but I'm nervous that’s all."

"Get off me then and we can talk."

"Really Alex."

"Yeah I promise, come on Mulder move you're heavy."

I got up and pulled Alex to his feet, I then retreated to the couch and sat down. Suddenly I heard the click and felt an immense pain hit me.

"You bastard, why Alex?"

"I am so sorry Mulder but it has to be this way."

With that Alex walked out of my apartment, also out of my life, I grabbed my phone and decided now would be a good time to phone Scully.

"Scully it's me I need help, I've just been shot."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I ran as fast as I could towards my car, hell I could not believe I'd just shot Mulder in the leg. Fuck fuck fuck, I hit the steering wheel hard as everything was just going so wrong, I felt sick because of what I had just done.

I was drained mentally and physically, hell I had not ate anything for days and was becoming weak. I decided it was time to make a phone call then pay an old friend a visit.  
I felt happier after the call knowing Spooky was okay, I claimed that my business was not over and I would be away a couple more weeks, hell I missed been home and I missed Spooky more than I expected.

Soon I was on the road and on my way to see Nick, we went back many years and I knew that he would help me.  
He had once been my boyfriend and personal fitness trainer, he was the best at what he did and made you work hard.

As a couple I'd always been the pushy one forcing him to give in to whatever I had wanted, it had hurt so much the day he had ended our relationship, he claimed he loved me but could not cope with me.

He was right of course as I was an arrogant cocky little bastard even back then, however I had truly loved him and realized too late just what I had done. What is it they say? We hurt the ones we love the most, well hell I am living proof of that.

Fuck I hurt Nick, I hurt Mulder, and hell I even hurt myself. Fuck I find it hard driving now as the tears start to fall, I am so pathetic and deserve to be alone in my life.

Over two hours later I pulled up outside a small house, the house is in total darkness and I realize just how early it is. It was six am and I knew Nick would be up now. What a fuckin idiot I was, I suddenly realized that I had not seen Nick in years and he might have a partner now, hell they could be in bed together right now for all I knew.

I decided to go for it, fuck at the worst he could hit me or slam the door in my face, I got out of the car and walked towards the house and knocked on the door.  
Soon I heard the door opening, there stood Nick looking as gorgeous as ever.

"Wow Alex what a surprise, what brings you here, how long has it been?"

"Nick I need your help."

I got to say no more before the tears came, God I was a fucked up mess and was falling apart. Good Old Nick put an arm around my shoulder and led me inside.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I really could not believe that Alex had shot me, I was sat here with Scully as she bandaged my thigh as the bullet had passed through, and it was now lodged in my couch somewhere.

I had tried telling Scully that my gun accidently went off as I cleaned it, she never questioned me but I also knew she never believed me. As soon as it was bandaged and I'd had painkillers Scully left me alone, she told me she would call in later to check on me.

Sometime later I phoned Frohike to ask if he knew anything, he informed me that he had tried to warn me Alex was coming. Frohike then told me that he'd followed Alex for a couple of hours, he was last seen going in to a small house with the help of a good-looking man.

Fuck this pissed me off big time, Alex never wanted me yet soon ran off to be with someone else. I thanked Frohike and told him I'd take it from here, I got changed and grabbed everything I would need for the stakeout not caring how long it took.

I had plenty of time and wanted to see what Alex was up to, also who he was seeing. It was a couple of hours later when I arrived at the address and parked as close as I dared. It was now daylight so I would need to be careful.

After an hour or so boredom was setting in and the car was a mess with sunflower seeds, God what I would give for a coffee after such little sleep, and my ass still hurt from previously.  
It had been another hour when my passenger door opened and someone got in.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"Let’s just say I'm a close friend of Alex, now I want to know who the hell you are?"

"I am Special agent Fox Mulder of the F.B.I."

"Ha so you're Mulder then."

"Where's Alex?"

"He's safe and just needs some time alone, go home Mulder and I will be in touch with you soon."

"Shit I can't, I might never get to see him again."

"You will as he loves you, just give him time as he's so fucked up at the moment."

So here I was on my way home to wait for a stranger to get in touch, maybe I would see Alex again however the wait was going to be hell.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I had never felt as pathetic in my life as Nick hugged me, shit then he noticed my wrists and pulled away from me.

"What the fuck have you done Alex?"

"Fucked up, but hey what’s new there?"

"Don't be a fuckin wise ass Alex, I will help you but you will have talk to me."

“What do you want to know Nick, shit you already know what I am."

"Alex I loved you, hell I still love you and will always be here for you."

I started to tell Nick about the last few years of my life, the betrayals, the rapes even right up to me becoming a rapist myself. I then went on to tell him how I cut my wrists and shot Mulder in the leg.

"God Alex remind me never to piss you off, shit you might decide to shoot me."

“Hey that's not fair as I never even had a gun back then."

"Because I walked away Alex and threw you out, do you know how hard that was for me to do?"

"If it hurt that much why throw me out."

"Because it hurt far more to live with you, you wrapped me around your little finger Alex, you told me to jump and I asked how high."

"Was I really that bad to live with?"

"Yeah Alex you were, I loved you but could not handle you."

"Maybe I should never have come here as it's not fair on you, I should just leave."

"You're not going anywhere Alex, I'm older and wiser now so I can handle you."

"Fine I'll stay just for now then."

I found myself in the spare room for the night, it was comfortable and I slept well. To be honest I think my body needed the rest along with my brain. Nick said we would go to the gym in a couple of days to help me get fit again.

I found it far harder to get to sleep on the second night, I lay there imagining me in Nicks bedroom, hell this room had been his study when we were together, I wondered where his study was now and why this was now a spare room.

I also had this urge to know if he had a new partner, I crept out of my room and went to his door to listen. There was no noise coming from the room so I slowly opened the door, there lay Nick in the king-size bed fast asleep and alone.

God the image brought back so many good memories from the past, I couldn’t help myself as I slipped into the bed beside his warm body.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I lay there on the couch trying my hardest to sleep however my mind was working overtime, soon my hand found its way in to my pants and started stroking my limp cock. It was not long before I was imagining a young naked Alex over my desk, I would shove my hard cock so far up his ass until he screamed.

What a fuckin slut he would be spread out before me as I fucked him harder than ever, soon I was far gone and coming hard myself. God I was so wasted and just needed some sleep.

I awoke sometime later alone, I lay there realizing that I had no one to truly share my life with. My Mother only ever moaned at me, Scully was now located somewhere else and things were no longer the same anyway.

I had also started to think that Alex was gone for good too, hell it was not like I deserved him in the first place. Honesty what a great thing it is, and if I were to be honest I deserved no one. I had led Scully in to so many dangerous situations, I had no regard for following rules and taking orders from anyone.

My life had become mundane now and I needed to live a little.  
If having sex with another man made me happy, well so be it, I was just sick of having no life at all. I knew I was making myself more and more depressed, I just had this deep down feeling that I would be alone all my life, shit all I wanted was to grow old with someone who I loved.

I realized that I had never really been that happy since becoming an adult, hell maybe I was just been a selfish bastard. Fuck I needed some air and decided to go for a run, I managed to run to the nearest off license for some vodka, soon I was back home and planning to drown my sorrows.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I was so fucked up and had no idea what the hell I wanted, even though the sudden voice still made me jump.

"Alex what are you doing, go back to your own bed?"

"Please Nick I don't want to be alone."

"Shit Alex I am willing to help you get back on your feet but .........."

The silence was starting to worry Alex.

"But what Nick, Please tell me I need you."

"You always need me Alex that's the problem, and stupid me I just let you walk all over me."

"I promise Nick I won't hurt you anymore."           

"Then get out of my bed Alex, as that's the only way you won't hurt me."

I felt totally gutted by the rejection, maybe coming here was a really bad idea and stupid of me, I got up and walked towards the bedroom door.

"I'll leave first thing in the morning and God I am so sorry, I never meant to hurt you and will leave before you wake up."

Suddenly I was grabbed and shoved on to the bed and felt his hands pulling at my clothes, then his hot warm mouth was upon mine.

"Jesus Alex this is what you do to me, God I need you so much."

Nick kissed his way down my chest sucking hard on a nipple.

"Fuck Nick that feels so good, why the hell didn't we work things out before."

Shit this time he bit my other nipple hard.

"Let’s see, maybe because you were a self-centred arrogant prick."

"Hey don't hold back will you."

"I’m been honest Alex, I love you so much and it tore my heart apart when I kicked you out."

"God I 'm sorry and should never have treat you that way."

"It's the past Alex, but God I want you now."

"Fuck me Nick please, shit are you seeing anyone at the moment?"

"There was never anyone serious or long term after you Alex."

"Shit was I that bad a lover, Guess I must have put you off.”

"It was not because you were bad Alex, I never had anyone because I was still in love with you."

"Shit I never realized, do you still really love me or is it just sex."

"I must be the biggest fool walking Alex, it was never just sex with you as I love you so much."

"Hell I really don't know what to say."

"It's okay Alex, I know you moved on."

"I never stopped loving you, shit Nick I moved on because I thought you hated me."

"Let me make love to you Alex, let me show you just what you mean to me."

Fuck I started to turn to jelly as he kissed my neck and then my nipples, he then removed my underwear and rolled me on to my stomach. It was when his tongue licked my tight hole I started babbling, shit then suddenly his tongue was deep inside me fucking my ass.

We had only been at it a few minutes and already I wanted to come.

"Please Nick I will beg if that's what you want, please just fuck me now."

"I'm not going to fuck you Alex, I plan to make love to you."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Deep down I knew that I should just forget Alex, but God only knew how I'd do it, it was then that I received the phone call.

"Agent Mulder speaking."

"It's Nick we met earlier, I think we need to talk."

"Fine what's up?"

"I need to know if what Alex told me is true."

"Depends just what he's been telling you."

"I would rather we meet if that's okay with you."

"Fine where and when?"

"It will have to be tomorrow and I can come to you, if that's okay."

"Fine, however make it the afternoon as I have work in the morning."

"Thanks Mulder I will see you then."

Great I now had to face the man who was with Alex, I had fucked up and didn't deserve him anyway. I was so tired with life, everything and everyone. I was becoming depressed again and sitting here alone did not help.

I had thought about going out but wanted to be sober for my meeting with Nick, I wondered just how much Alex had told him about me. I had blown everything with everyone, I was an F.B.I agent who had abused and raped his fellow partner and deserved to be kicked out.

What a fuckin joke that was, my Boss could not fire me as he also was a rapist himself... Then there was Scully, I had to wonder why she had hung around for so long.  
I decided to get some sleep before I became suicidal, I would need to be alert for when Nick arrived.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Nick kept his word and made love to me all night, it was amazing and felt so right. However once he was asleep I just lay there, shit what had I just done, I wanted Nick but also wanted Mulder at the same time and it was so wrong to want them both. 

Here I was preparing to hurt Nick all over again, deep down I knew that I should have stayed away and never come back. I had wanted revenge so bad on Skinner and hadn't even thought things through, now I was going to hurt the one person who had always done so much for me.

I must have fallen asleep at some point during the night, I opened my eyes to bright sunshine streaming through the open curtains.

"Come on Alex wake up its morning, time to go to the gym and get you boxing again."

"I thought you were selling it?"

"Guess I never got around to it, only I use it so God knows why I keep it."

"So only we will be there."

"Yeah so come on Alex get a move on will you, I have a business trip to attend later today."

"How long will you be gone?"

"A few hours that's all."

"Fine come on then."

We arrived at the gym over an hour later, I could not get the rhythm right no matter how I tried.

"Come on Alex, God even my Grandmother could punch harder than you."

"Fuck you."

"Keep on the way you're going and you won't be around long enough to fuck anyone. Concentrate Alex or you will end up dead if that's the best you have."

"Whatever."

"Where has all the fight gone Alex, shit you're lousy at it."

"I would have killed you by now if I didn't love you."

Shit, shit, shit I suddenly realized what I'd just said, I also knew by the look on Nicks face that he had heard.

"Come on Alex give it your best as we need to leave soon."

I see that Nick carried on like he'd not even heard me, I knew it was time to decide what I was going to do. Great' we had no sooner got back before Nick left and I was alone, I now had a few hours alone and a big decision to make.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I don't know why I felt so nervous, I had faced far worse people in my line of work as it was. Later that afternoon I heard the knock and got up to answer the door, there stood Alex's friend Nick.

"Come on in and take a seat, can I get you a drink or anything."

"All I came here for are answers Agent Mulder."

"Fair enough what do you want to know?"

"Alex is very emotional at the moment regarding past events, is it true that you and your boss both raped and abused Alex."

"Straight to the point I see."

"Don't piss me off or ever underestimate me Mulder, one last time, did you rape him."

"Yes what he's told you is true and I have to live ............"

Fuck I had not been prepared for the fist that hit my jaw full on, Jesus the guy knew how to throw a punch.

"Well I guess I deserved that one."

"Hell that and a ton more, I could kill you for what you have done to him."

"So what's stopping you, go on then as I have to live with what I did for the rest of my life."

"Because Alex would hate me if I did."

"It's me he hates Nick, not that I can blame him as I deserve all I get."

"Alex does not hate you, he's just so mixed up about everything and he can't understand why you did it. If I have to be honest with myself he still loves you despite everything."

"So Nick where do you fit in to all this."

"We go back many years, Alex was my best friend in life and later we became lovers."

"So what happened are you still lovers, is that why he came to see you after everything?"

"We split up a few years ago, don't get me wrong I still love him and always will, however Alex is extremely hard work and very unstable at times."

"Who ended it?"

"I ended it because Alex started using me and taking me for granted."

"So you still love Alex, I guess the big question is does he still love you."

"I have no idea if he truly does, Alex is unstable and wants to be loved and needed all the time."

"Don't we all."

"I want you to come back with me so we can face him together, only he can decide who he wants to be with."

"Do you think that's a good idea?"

"Well I'm sure neither of us can go on like this, we need to move forward or have closure."

"Yeah that's true, okay count me in, and when do we leave then."

"Right now, I don't want to leave Alex alone too long in his state of mind."

I grabbed a few essentials and we were soon on the road, I wanted to see Alex more than anything, but God was I scared as it might be the last time.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I must have spent the next two hours or so thinking, then I proceeded to pace up and down the kitchen for the next thirty minutes. Finally I had made my decision, well that's if you could call it that anyway. 

I was going to do it the Alex Krycek way as usual, run away, disappear without a trace and hide. When the going gets tough Alex gets going, especially when faced with other people.

I packed what few clothes I had along with a few pictures of Nick, I had to go before he came home or I would chicken out. I grabbed a cab to the airport and used a false passport, I wanted no paper trails or anything that could lead back to me.  
I tried my dam hardest to sleep on the plane, yet I was unable to escape the deep pain I felt inside. I had two men that I loved and here I was running away back to my life alone, deep down I knew it had to be this way before I hurt either of them, if I stayed we would all end up hurt.

Once off the plane I caught a cab back home, I needed to light a fire and get the place warmed up. It felt so cold and abandoned but that soon changed, I put on many lights and lit a huge fire. Once I had a coffee pot on it started to smell and feel more like home.

I knew there was one more thing I had to do before the day ended, it was time to go and collect Spooky. I just prayed that he would still want me after I abandoned him.

I need not have worried as he would not leave me alone, it was then that I realized just how much the dog meant to me, I hugged Spooky tight before taking him back home. It had been a very long day and I was exhausted, it was time to call it a day and get some sleep.

Over an hour later I was still awake with Spooky sprawled out beside me, finally I cried myself in to a restless sleep, I had cried for everyone and everything I had lost.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

We arrived outside the house that was Nick’s home, shit I was so nervous and wondered if he would even want to see me anymore. After entering the house we realized that it was silent, Nick called out but received no reply from Alex.

"Make yourself at home Mulder while I go and find him, he's most probably out back or in the shower."

"Yeah okay no worries."

I sat on the huge leather sofa twiddling my fingers like I was sixteen again, well that was until I heard the shouting.

"The sneaky little bastard, I can't fuckin believe that he would do this to me again."

"Nick calm down and talk to me, come on what's up?"

"Alex, that's what’s up."

"Okay what has he gone and done now?"

"Alex has gone, he won't be coming back as he's taken all his stuff with him."

I watched as Nick sank down in to the couch and sobbed, he sat with his face buried within his hands. That was when I truly realized that I was not the only one to love Alex, we were both in the same boat together, however I had no plans of just laying down and giving up.

"Listen I have good friends and I’m dam sure that we will find Alex."

"Maybe he doesn’t want to be found."

"Well he can tell us that to our faces if he wants nothing to do with us, come on let’s move."

"Yeah but what happens if we manage to find him, I love him and won't give up without a fight, hell I should never have kicked him out in the first place."

"I love him too so I guess the final decision must be made by Alex."

"Fine so we agree here and now, the other will just walk away."

"Yes, God it will be hard but it has to be done."

I left Nick alone and went outside to make a phone call, thankfully the news was good and I could have kissed Frohike. I went back inside to share the good news with Nick.

“Nick we need to go now!”

"I'm not in the mood Mulder"

"I know where Alex is."

"How can you know?"

"I have a good friend who has been following Alex for me, I had thought he had given up but apparently not. Frohike is parked near to where Alex is staying."

"How far away is he?"

"It will take a few hours by car but we can take it in turns to drive, I could not get us on a plane today so this will be quicker."

"Come on then let’s get going then"

I insisted on driving first as Nick looked shattered and had already drove a lot, plus the man was a nervous wreck. I felt sorry for him as I realized Alex was all he had left in life.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Morning soon came around, I would be okay if I were to keep myself busy and do very little thinking. I had plenty to do anyway as it would soon be winter, firstly I would cut plenty of wood. Soon as the day wore on I had plenty of wood and food stored, also plenty of food incase winter was bad.

I took Spooky for a long walk in the woods, I loved it here and the scenery was amazing, however the nights were getting cold and dark so it was time to go home.  Once inside I put some more logs on the fire and turned the lamp on, I hated been here alone in the dark.

It was only when I sat down my brain started working overtime, I had got used to been here alone so why the hell did I go back in the first place. I should never have gone back and to see Nick, well let's just say that was stupid and selfish on my part.

I knew that he would be hurting now, I had gone and used him yet again. Then there was Mulder who I admired and loved so much, yet I had become a rapist and no better than him.

How could I have fucked up both their lives along with my own, hell I deserved to feel the way I did, I also deserved to be alone.  
I went in to the kitchen and returned with a strong bottle of Russian vodka, sorted I would drink until I passed out, that way I would get some rest without having to think.

I could handle some of the worst people in life if I had too, yet big bad Alex Krycek and I couldn't even handle my own fucking emotions.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The journey was quiet for the first part, Nick had managed to sleep on and off the best he could under the circumstances.  
He was not holding himself together well at all, it was times like this that been a profiler came in handy, however I had to admit that I didn't like what I saw in front of me.

The man was on the edge and barely hanging on, I knew that if he had to leave Alex behind it would be the end of him. I hardly knew the man yet I didn't want him to hurt that way, he had always been there for Alex long before me.

The more I looked at him the more I felt a bond with Nick, maybe it was because we were in the same position at the moment. I decided to pull over into an all-night diner and get some coffee, also it was about time me and Nick had a good long talk before we faced Alex.

We found a small table in the corner which served my needs, the diner had very few patrons at this hour anyway. Neither one of us was hungry so we just ordered two coffees.

"Nick are you sure you're okay you look very pale."

"Yeah just worried I guess."

"We have to decide here and now what our plans are going to be, we can't go any further until we do."

"What plans, it's up to Alex at the end of the day?"

"So come on then Nick, who do you think Alex will choose?"

"How should I know Mulder, most probably you as you're all he talks about?"

"No I already know who Alex will choose."

"How can you know that?"

"The joy of been a profiler I guess."

"So go on the, who will it be?"

"He won't choose either of us."

"God of course, shit he will be afraid to hurt either of us."

"Exactly, rather than hurt us Alex will suffer alone, so we need to make sure he isn’t left to suffer and that's why we need a plan."

We talked for over another hour before hitting the road, we had made a decision but needed Alex to agree.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I felt so happy, far happier than I'd felt in years or deserved to feel. Hell I was wanted by the same people I myself loved, shit I even had friends and I never wanted the feeling to end. Like they say though all good things come to an end.

My happy life was gone because I fuckin woke up, the dream had felt so real and left me feeling robbed and cheated. I was so fucking pissed that I punched the wall, great now my hand was throbbing and in agony.

Shit Spooky ran out of the room whimpering and scared, typical I fucked up everything good in my life as usual.  
I sat there in the chair where I had fallen asleep, I ached all over and had one hell of a hangover. I got up and fed Spooky before emptying the medicine cabinet, I swallowed the sleeping pills and went to bed.

No I was not quiet suicidal yet, I took enough just so I could get some damn sleep and forget about the pain in my hand, Spooky jumped up on the bed and must have got over my outburst.  
It was sometime later and now dark, shit the pounding in my head would not let up, and it was then that I realized it was the door. I got up and shoved my gun in to the waistband of my pants, I knew that I'd pissed of a few people in life so I wasn’t taking any chances.

When I reached the door Spooky was right beside me, maybe it might be just a neighbour welcoming me home. Shit I got the shock of my life when I opened the door, there stood Mulder and Nick on my doorstep and I was left stuck for words as Mulder spoke.

"Are you going to let us in Alex, what's the dog called and does it bite."

"Spooky."

"Great I do have a name, you can call me Mulder Alex."

"No the fuckin dog's called Spooky, what the hell do you two want anyway."

"We just want to talk Alex that's all."

Great now Nick had also found his voice.

"Please Alex you at least owe us five minutes to hear us out, I gave you so much and let you back in my life and all you do is disappear again."

"Okay fine come in, I guess I owe you that much."

"What happened to your hand Alex?"

"God Mulder you miss nothing, I punched a wall is that okay."

"No Alex it's not okay you need to get it looked at."

"Its fine, look do you want to talk or not."

"Yeah sorry Alex."

"Turn right and go in to the kitchen, I guess I will make you a coffee before you leave."

Shit I felt so claustrophobic and wondered just how they had found me.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The comment about making the coffee before we leave was not lost on me as we entered the reasonably sized kitchen, we both just sat there as Alex started making drinks, well no time like the present I guess.

"How long have you lived here Alex?"

"What the fuck is it to do with you Mulder?"

"Fine I'll cut the small talk if that's what you want, Nick and I have been worried sick about you and spent hours getting here."

"Yeah well it's not like you were asked to come here, just go and leave me alone both of you."

"Don't you care Alex what you're doing to anyone other than yourself?"

"Go screw yourself Mulder and take him with you, you really think I'm a heartless bastard don't you."

I knew it was working and Alex was struggling to hold back the tears, just a bit more pressure and his tough guy exterior might crack.

"No Alex I don't think you're heartless, just confused and mixed up that's all we both love you yet you just want us gone."

"You don't get it do you Mulder, you're both better off without me, hell all I do is fuck everything up and ruin people’s lives."

"Is that what you really want Alex to be alone?"

"No but it’s better that way."

"Do you even love either of us Alex?"

Shit this was the question I had dreaded asking Alex.

"Answer the fucking question Alex, or are you not man enough."

Nearly there Alex would break soon.

"I love you both are you happy now, God help me I am so fucked up and not normal."

"There's nothing wrong with loving two people Alex."

"I fuck people’s lives up Mulder, go on tell him Nick how I used you."

"I kicked you out Alex because you were demanding and hard work, that's why Mulder and I have made a decision and now it's up to you."

"Typical everyone knows what's best for me, go on then what choices do I have."

"Alex obviously Nick knows you better than I do, hell and I hardly know him at all so the decision was not made lightly."

"Get to the point Mulder or get out, I'm starting to get pissed off and tired now."

"We both want to be your lovers Alex."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shit this was so not happening, had Mulder just said what I thought he had about two lovers. Great now I was really struggling to hold everything together.

"So just how would that work Mulder."

"Nick plans to sell his business and home, he wants to move in with you."

Fuck I saw the tears and realized that was why Nick was quiet, what the fuck had I done to him.

"And what about you Mulder where do you fit into all this."

"I would come every Friday evening for the weekend, also I could use up some of my many holidays."

"You really have planned everything out I see."

"We love you so much Alex, why the hell should the three of us be alone when we don't need to be."

"So basically you want this relationship to be three way, does that mean you and Nick will be fucking each other."

"Why is that what you want Alex."

"If I were to agree to it, yes Mulder that's what I want then no one would be pushed out."

Shit just what the fuck was I saying, I knew deep down I had to walk away from them both.

"We get on with each other Alex, hell that at least must make it worth trying."

"I just wanted to see if you would do it Mulder, now both of you get the fuck out of my home."

"Mister fucking hard man that's you Alex, fine I guess me and Nick could try making a go of things."

I stood gob smacked as Mulder pulled Nick to him and kissed him full on, shit it was even worse when I saw Nick kiss him back. Shit I did what I always did and ran away to my bedroom, I then slammed the door shut and threw myself on the bed.

Yeah big bad Alex Krycek what a fuckin joke, I lay there all alone on the bed sobbing.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Okay I admit that I went overboard with the kiss, shit Nick looked totally shocked by what I had done.

"Fuck Mulder what was that for."

"I'm sorry Nick I was hoping shock treatment might work."

"I know Alex well and he will stay in there for hours, he will just lay there hoping we decide to leave and go home. When we had a relationship Alex could not cope if things went wrong."

"Well Nick I guess the time has come to show him what he means to us."

"Just don't push him Mulder or he will run."

"Okay I will be kind to him, come one let’s do this."

We got to the bedroom door to find it locked.

"Alex please open the door."

"Fuck off Mulder."

"You can't stay in there forever Alex, come on please just open it."

"For fucks sake just go home, I don't want either of you and I hate you both."

"Open the door then Alex, come on we want you to say it to our face."

We were met by total silence.

"I thought not, you won't come out because it's a lie Alex."

"Believe what you want Mulder."

"You have two minutes to open this door, otherwise I will kick the fuckin thing open."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me the clock starts now Alex."

"Piss off Mulder."

"One minute thirty seconds Alex and counting."

"Go to hell Mulder."

"Been there already, one minute."

"Just shut the fuck up."

"Open the door then thirty seconds."

"Not a hope in hell Mulder."

When the timer beeped I kicked the door open, Alex just lay there on the bed unresponsive.

He was starting to piss me off with his childish attitude, I leant over him and grabbed him by the hair pulling his head up to look at me.

"Look at me God damn you, I am not leaving like this, are you really just going to throw everything away.”

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Great I could not believe Mulder had just kicked my bedroom door open, there was no way I could face either of them. Shit Mulder grabbed my hair and stared right at me, nowhere to hide now.

"Please Mulder just go, I'm not worth the hassle and will ruin your life."

"Yeah because me and Nick here are really happy with the life we have without you, I want you to answer just one question for me Alex."

"What Mulder?"

"Do you even love me or Nick, or is this just one big game to you?"

Fuck I could not believe Mulder was putting me on the spot, I could feel the tears as they rolled down my cheeks.

"It was never a game Mulder, I love you Mulder but look what I did to you for fucks sake, and you Nick I loved you but treat you like dirt."

"What happened Alex to stop us been together."

"Have you forgot Mulder, for fucks sake I raped you."

"Yeah well I think we are equal on that one Alex, please let’s just see if we can make it work."

"But what happens Mulder if we can't."

"We walk away Alex but at least we will have tried, there might be rough patches but you have to face us and not run away."

"Fine Mulder I am willing to try if that's what you both really want."

"Thank you Alex you won't regret it."

I was overwhelmed as Mulder and Nick both hugged me, maybe life would be worth living after all. Just think if I hadn't gone back for revenge on Skinner, Shit I would have been alone forever.

Revenge can be sweet after all, however Spooky might not agree when he realizes he's no longer number one.

Sweet Revenge

By Carol Ward

18/10/2013

 


End file.
